Living with the things you love: a conversation with Mary Randolph Carter

Mary Randolph Carter teaches us to surround ourselves with what matters to live happily ever after.
Carter Berg
Mary Randolph Carter teaches us to surround ourselves with what matters to live happily ever after.
There is magic in a home filled with the things we love, and Mary Randolph Carter, affectionately known as “Carter,” has spent a lifetime embracing that magic. Her latest book, “Live with the Things You Love … and You’ll Live Happily Ever After,” is about storytelling, joy, and honoring life’s poetry through the objects we keep.
“This is my tenth book,” Carter said. “At the root of each is my love of collecting, the thrill of the hunt, and living surrounded by things that conjure up family, friends, and memories.”
The creative director at Ralph Lauren for almost four decades, Carter began writing this book during the pandemic, a time of rediscovering comfort. “I found more time to appreciate those special things that give our homes warmth and connection.” Working with Ralph Lauren, she learned that the best spaces tell a personal story. “His desk was filled with toy cars, miniature shoes, superheroes, English dandies, cowboys on horseback. The walls? A gallery of his children’s paintings, iconic photos of Frank Sinatra and Gary Cooper. Everything told a story.”
Carter acknowledges how homes can become overwhelmed with stuff but sees a difference between clutter and collection. “To live happily, create environments that inspire and comfort rather than encumber you! Look around and ask, ‘What is truly meaningful? What makes you smile? What recalls the people and places you cherish?’” Then, she added, “weed out the rest with discipline and courage!”
Provided
Each home in Carter’s book reflects its inhabitant’s spirit. “The first time I walked into Bethann Hardison’s apartment, I knew right away how authentic it was to who she is.” Hardison’s walls are lined with artwork from friends Keith Haring, Jean-Michel Basquiat, and Haitian paintings, testaments to a life well lived. “Though her mantra is, ‘the lighter the load, the freer the journey,’ she also admits some things ‘delight your environment’ and can’t be parted with. Amen to that!”
Having survived two childhood fires, Carter deeply understands what truly matters. “It’s not the things, but the people and memories they evoke.” She loves her collections, but they don’t possess her. “They make me happy, but they do not define me.”
She delights in how people showcase treasures. Paula Grief, for instance, lives in a ten-foot-wide house and had to part with many books. “She tucks the ones she can’t live without through the rungs of her staircase. I love that ingenuity!”
When asked about her most cherished possession, Carter tells a story of loss and serendipity. A childhood portrait of her in a blue velvet dress was lost in a fire. “Years later, the artist’s daughter found another version. Now, it hangs in our apartment, surrounded by flea market art and one of my favorite saints, Our Lady of Guadalupe.”
Adding to the cozy feeling of this book, Carter’s son, Carter Berg, took the photographs, and her sister, Cary, contributed the illustrations. “Cary once stayed in our apartment and painted a dozen objects from our cluttered kitchen. I hung them immediately. When I started this book, I knew she had to capture my favorite objects.”
Four of the featured homes are local to the Northwest Corner, including Carter’s in Millerton, Joan Osofsky’s in Lakeville, Robin Bell’s in Salisbury, and Paula Grief’s in Hudson. They all gathered at the White Hart/Oblong Speaker Series on March 27.
After perusing the richly colored pages of this book, you may feel tempted to shop. “You don’t need money to create a meaningful home,” Carter insisted. “Some of my favorite paintings cost no more than $10 or $25. Value is personal. It’s not about provenance but the story an object tells you or the one you make up.”
Carter’s advice? “Fall in love with the wackiest thing. Surround yourself with what matters, and you’ll live happily ever after.”
Habitat for Humanity assisted in the construction and sale of this house at 14 Rudd Pond Road for $392,000.
MILLERTON — Official Dutchess County property transfers for the four months ending in May are fascinating from the sale of the former Presbyterian Church on Main Street for $420,000 to the $300,000 sale of 8.3 acres of the historic Perotti farm for $300,000 where major barn restoration is now underway.
Actively listed properties at the end of July include 14 parcels of land ranging in price from $60,000 for a five-acre lot to six parcels over a million dollars. 15 single family homes are on the market including an $11,750,000 estate on Moadock Road and four village homes for under $500,000.
Residential
14 Rudd Pond Road — 3 bedroom/2 bath home on .64 acres sale recorded in March for $392,000 to Anthony M. Macagnone.
81 Rudd Pond Road — 3 bedroom/2 bath home on .45 acres recorded in April for $360,300 to Sara Whitney Laser.
926 Smithfield Road — Historic house and barns on 8.31 acres sale recorded in May for $300,000 to Colonial House & Barn LLC.
5408 Route 22 — 3 bedroom/2 bath home on 5.38 acres sale recorded in May for $465,000 to Erich McEnroe.
The former Presbyterian Church on Main Street in the Village of Millerton was purchased in May for $420,000 and then pained grey.Christine Bates
Commercial
1 Smith Court, Village of Millerton — Office building sale recorded in March for $825,000 to OneJohnStreet LLC.
58 Main Street, Village of Millerton — Sale of former church recorded in May for $420,000 to 58 Main Street LLC.
5546 Route 22 — Sale of former restaurant on 2 acres recorded in May for $70,000 to Haithem Oueslati Trustee.
Land
State Line Road (#789358) — Sale recorded of 20.82 acres of vacant residential land in March for $150,000 to Elliott Squared LLC.
148 Morse Hill — Sale recorded of 30.03 acres of vacant productive farm land in 5 parcels in March for $800,000 to Thorne Water LLC.
*Town of North East and Village of Millerton property transfers from March through May not previously reported as sales in The Millerton News are sourced from Dutchess County Real Property Office monthly reports for March through May. Details on property from Dutchess Parcel Access. Compiled by Christine Bates, Real Estate Advisor with William Pitt Sotheby’s International Realty, Licensed in Connecticut and New York.
MILLERTON — Heavy rain brought down trees on Park Avenue, South Center Street and Century Boulevard, causing blackouts across the village on Friday, July 25.
The Millerton Moviehouse cancelled film showings for the afternoon following the outages, as stated in a release sent out to Moviehouse supporters over email Friday afternoon.
Village Clerk Lisa Cope said the downed trees landed on power lines, causing localized blackouts for many village residents and businesses between 3 and 6 p.m. Friday evening.
Central Hudson crews cleared the trees and restored power to the village that evening.