1901 couple made 30-mile walk to wed, all for love

A Valentine’s Day tale

MILLERTON — Whenever love and passion come into play, it seems time and distance are rendered irrelevant against matters of the heart. That hasn’t changed in the last 100 years or so.

Back in 1901, for 16-year-old Nellie Funk, her love for 19-year-old Benjamin Surdam was worth the walk they took from her home in Norfolk, Conn., to the village of Millerton where they were wed more than a century ago.

Funk’s story caught the eye of The New York Times at the time, which published a short front page special about her marriage in its Feb. 14, 1901
Valentine’s edition.

The Millerton News accessed the article through The Times’ archives Times Machine, www.timesmachine.nytimes.com. The feature reported on Feb. 13, 1901, that Funk’s parents objected to her marrying Surdam. Determined to marry, the couple walked the nearly 30-mile distance from Norfolk to Millerton join in matrimony.

Based on his research into the love birds’ story, North East Historical Society President Ed Downey said the duo was reportedly married on Feb. 9, according to the New York State Marriage Index.

As reported by The Times, the newlyweds returned to Norfolk on Feb. 12, during which time Funk’s parents refused to notice her.

Short on funds, Surdam “worked a day in order to raise money with which to hire a team to take him and his bride to his parents’ home in Barbersville.”

Through the process of researching the Surdams’ love story, this reporter was met with a few stumbling blocks due to conflicting historical records.

According to the U.S. Find a Grave Index at www.findagrave.com, Downey said Benjamin Harrison Surdam was born May 8, 1881 while Nellie E. Surdam was born in 1884. Both Benjamin and Nellie were reportedly born in Connecticut.

The Find a Grave Index also revealed the couple had three children — Almon Surdam, Alice Surdam and Gladys (Surdam) Boynton — and were both buried in Center Cemetery in Norfolk, Conn. Nellie passed away in 1942 and Benjamin followed in May 1967.

Other online databases (such as www.ancestors.familyresearch.org) revealed details to the Surdams’ tale that conflicted with the reports provided by Downey, including different birth years and hometowns listed for Surdam and five other children listed in addition to the three mentioned above.

However, for all the dead ends encountered, new perspectives with which to examine the story emerged.

After reaching out to Millerton Village Clerk Kelly Kilmer to obtain their marriage certificate, she advised to check the age requirements for marriage during that time period as that might have had a role to play in the decision to marry in Millerton.

“Working under the vital records title in the village, we notice a lot of people in Connecticut or Massachusetts came over to get married back in that time frame,” Kilmer said. “It’s very interesting how many Connecticut residents came over to get married.”

Researching marriage age requirements for the early 1900s proved tricky and yielded little to no answers. Looking at legal marriage ages by state as of 2022, the legal age for both Connecticut and New York is 16 with parental consent and 18 without parental consent, according to www.worldpopulationreview.com.

The legal age to marry in New York made headlines last summer when former Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill to raise the age of consent to be married to 18 years old, effectively banning child marriage here.

Believe it or not it used to be OK to get married even earlier in the Empire State. As reported by NBC News last July, New York raised the age of consent in 2017 from 14 years old to 17 years old with parental or judicial consent.

Reflecting on all that was found on Benjamin and Nellie Surdam, one can only imagine about the life they shared together and whether theirs was a happy marriage and if it was worth the arduous journey to the alter.

Though specific details of their marriage now rest alongside the couple in their Norfolk graves, residents may take comfort today in knowing that, for at least a moment in Millerton’s history, one couple felt their deep love for one other could conquer the open road.

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