Reassessing how we punish victims of domestic violence

Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
Natalia Zuckerman
Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
SALISBURY — “Nikki’s lifelong belief that she had to hide is rooted in a cultural truth that, in fact, your truth is not always safe, and you’re not always going to be believed.” said author Michelle Horton of her sister, Nikki Addimando, a survivor of years of domestic violence who was ultimately incarcerated for killing her abuser.
Horton was presenting her new book, “Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds,” at an event at The Scoville Library on Wednesday, March 27.
It was put on in conjunction with Project SAGE, a community-focused organization dedicated to supporting and advocating for victims of relationship violence, and the Nicole Addimando Community Defense Committee, a collective of Addimando’s friends and advocates who built a national grassroots movement to repeal, repair and ultimately end the harms of criminalizing domestic abuse survivors.
Nicole Addimando is the central figure of Horton’s book, a breathtaking account of the high-profile case in which Addimando was sentenced to life for the killing of her long-time abuser.
Overnight, Horton became the caregiver for Addimando’s two small children, Ben and Faye, while also raising her own son, Noah, as she embarked on the battle of a lifetime against the criminal justice system.
In September 2017, Addimando shot and killed her domestic partner, Christopher Grover in an act of self-defense. In April 2019, Addimando was convicted of second-degree murder and gun possession.
Despite an abundance of evidence to corroborate the years of abuse Addimando endured, the prosecution instead relied on harmful fallacies, domestic violence myths, character assassination, victim blaming and unsubstantiated claims to make their case.
But perhaps most disturbingly, prior to Addimando’s sentencing, New York passed the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act, which specifically authorized reductions in sentences for domestic-violence survivors when the abuse they suffered “was a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s criminal behavior.”
Judge Edward McLoughlin, an elected judge still serving on Dutchess County’s Supreme and County Courts, presided in Addimando’s case, and ruled instead that the case did not meet the requirements of a reduced sentence because she “could have left her abuser.”
On February 11, 2020, Judge McLoughlin sentenced Addimando to 19-years-to-life, plus 15 years, plus 5 years post supervision.
After a year of advocacy, in June 2021, an appeals court struck down the ruling, and Addimando’s sentence was reduced to 7.5 years. She was released from prison in January 2024 and is currently on parole and living with her sister in Poughkeepsie.
The bigger picture
In the US, three women die every day at the hands of a current or former intimate partner, and the myth of “just leaving” is not possible. A commonly referenced statistic among domestic violence advocates is that victims make an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship.
Leaving isn’t a single event; rather, it’s a complex process that necessitates meticulous preparation and groundwork. Decades of research, including a groundbreaking femicide study from 2003, by Jacquelyn Campbell, and a three-country study from 1993, by Margo Wilson and Martin Daly, shows that the most dangerous time for a victim is when she is leaving the relationship.
After Horton’s reading of a moving passage from the book which underscored the trauma experienced by Addimando and her family, an audience member expressed shock that Addimando was “hiding in plain sight to most of her family and friends.”
The audience member then went on to ask what could be done to “encourage people to be more courageous in seeing and helping victims and what can be done to encourage victims to reach out to broader support?”
Virginia Gold, director of client services at Project Sage responded by noting that the current social environment emphasizes enabling the victim to make different choices.
She explained that this was a way of blaming or putting the onus on the victim of domestic violence, which “creates a context in which someone hears the unspoken messages that they are the one who has to fix this thing happening to them, as opposed to the idea that we are responsible for shifting our assumptions about how relationships should work.”
She said, “one of the reasons that we talk about social change [is that this] erases the responsibility that we need to hold for perpetrators and the conversation that we need to have that identifies the kinds of behaviors that are condoned, ignored, rationalized, or allowed to continue.
The justice system
“How do we go about getting this judge off the bench?” asked another audience member to applause, referring to Judge McLoughlin.
Horton responded, “We need voters in Dutchess County to spread the word because he will be up for reelection in 2025.
“It’s an elected position so we can vote him out of power. It is possible.”
Judge McLoughlin is also a professor of criminal law at Marist College, where some students are petitioning to terminate his role due to his handling of Addimando’s case.
Among the list of grievances against the judge is perpetuation of harmful myths about domestic violence. “How can the college claim to ‘foster a safe living and learning environment for all’ when someone with such a fundamental, well-documented lack of understanding about domestic violence is allowed to shape the minds of young people?” the petition asks.
There are currently 812 signatures on the petition. Marist declined to comment.
A staff member of Judge McLoughlin’s chambers said that because the case is still considered pending, McLoughlin is not able to comment on the case at this time.
Aftermath
“I never had any illusion that Nikki coming home was going to be a happy ending, but I think she’s in a much better position than most,” Horton said, referring to the fact that Addimando has resources, community and family support, something the majority of incarcerated women do not.
Horton said that the family is working to heal from this trauma.
“We’re all looking forward to the future but it’s challenging at different points because, you know, healing is hard,” she said.
PINE PLAINS — The Pine Plains FFA Ag Fair brought a crowd to the high school on Church Street Saturday, Oct. 11.
Kicking off the day was the annual tractor pull, attracting a dedicated crowd that sat in bleachers and folding chairs for hours watching Allison-Chalmers, International Harvesters and John Deeres compete to pull the heaviest weights.
A large collection of food was on offer from the Pine Plains FFA and each one of the classes in the Pine Plains Central School District. The football team was selling pickles.
Stissing Mountain High School Principal Christopher Boyd enjoyed a dip in the dunk tank to raise money for the Pine Plains teachers’ union-sponsored scholarship.
Stissing Mountain High School Principal Christopher Boyd got dunked several times during his half-hour shift in the dunk tank. Proceeds from the throws benefitted the Photo by Nathan Miller
The Rev. AJ Stack, center right, blessing a chicken at the pet blessing event at St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Amenia on Saturday, Oct. 4.
AMENIA — After serving more than five years as Priest-in-Charge of St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Amenia, the Rev. AJ Stack announced Tuesday, Oct. 7, that he will resign from the church and Food of Life/Comida de Vida pantry. His last day at his current post will be Sunday, Nov. 2, the conclusion of the Feast of All Saints.
The news was shared in two emails from Stack — one to Food of Life pantry subscribers and volunteers, and another to parish members.
“I write tonight with difficult news, and I wanted you to hear it from me as soon as the Vestry and I had a chance to meet,” he wrote. “After much prayer and careful discernment, I have submitted my resignation to the Vestry as Priest-in-Charge of St. Thomas, and therefore as Executive Director of Food of Life/Comida de Vida.”
Stack provided few details about his departure. At time of publication, he had not announced his next steps but said the decision was “not sudden,” and followed careful consideration over a period of months. He will not be leaving the area or the diocese.
An announcement about his path forward and the transition process is expected soon. In the meantime, Stack said he remains “fully present” at the church, and the food pantry services will continue without interruption.
Stack expressed gratitude for the community and the growth of St. Thomas’ mission during his tenure. “Together we have welcomed new neighbors and strengthened our outreach in meaningful ways,” he said. “I trust that good work will continue.”
He joined St. Thomas in March 2020 and guided the church and community through the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic. In a recent interview with The News about the food pantry, Stack estimated that it serves 653 individuals from 156 households each week, highlighting a significant contribution to the community.
The announcement was met with messages of reassurance from pantry volunteers. Jolly Stewart, a Vestry member and volunteer, wrote to the community with words of reassurance following the announcement. “I have complete faith in the strength of the parish of St. Thomas,” she wrote. “Our history shows how we have done this time and again, each time becoming more than what we were before. We can, without a doubt, do this now.”
MILLERTON — Ten candidates for office in the Nov. 4 election will answer questions from Dutchess County voters at a candidate forum on Friday, Oct. 24, at the Annex at the NorthEast-Millerton Library located at 28 Century Blvd.
The forum, which is sponsored by the library, will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m.
Candidates for local and county offices will answer questions from residents in attendance or from residents who have submitted questions in advance.
“We’re excited to keep the tradition of the candidate forum going,” said Rhiannon Leo-Jameson, director of the library. “Some years we can’t always get candidates together.”
This year’s forum will include:
Rachele Grieco Cole, a Democrat, and Chris Mayville, a Republican, who both are running uncontested for the North East Town Council;
Casey McCabe, a Democrat, also running uncontested for North East Justice.
Among Dutchess County races:
Tracy MacKenzie, who is endorsed by Republicans and Democrats, is running uncontested for Dutchess County Family Court Judge;
Kara Gerry, a Democrat, and Ned McLoughlin, a Republican, are in a contest for a Dutchess County Court judgeship currently held by McLoughlin.
Chris Drago, D-19, and Tonya Pulver, a Republican, are competing to represent Dutchess County’s19th District seat currently held by Drago.
Democratic incumbent Dan Aymar-Blair and Will Truitt, the Republican chair of the county legislature, are competing for the Dutchess County Comptroller position currently held by Aymar-Blair.
Leo-Jameson is encouraging questions for the candidates to be submitted in advance, which will not be revealed to candidates beforehand. Dutchess County residents may pose questions during the forum. To submit a question on the library’s website, go to the calendar at nemillertonlibrary.org and find the link in the Oct. 24calendar entries.
The format calls for opening statements from the candidates, followed by questions from residents, and candidates will be able to stay after the forum to answer questions personally.
The residence at 35 Amenia Union Road in Sharon was damaged after being struck by the Jeep Grand Cherokee around 3 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 11.
SHARON, Conn. — Emergency crews were called Saturday, Oct. 11, to Amenia Union Road in Sharon for a report of a vehicle into a building with entrapment.
Connecticut State Police reported Charles Teti, 62, was driving his Jeep Grand Cherokee northbound on Amenia Union Road when, for an unknown reason, the vehicle veered across the southbound land and exited the roadway where it struck a tree and home. Airbags deployed.
Teti and front seat passenger Aidan Cassidy, 63, sustained serious injuries. Teti was airlifted to Hartford Hospital and Cassidy was transported by ambulance to Sharon Hospital for treatment.
Back seat passenger Shea Cassidy-Teti, 17, sustained fatal injuries and was pronounced dead on scene. Cassidy-Teti was a senior at Kent School. He played on the football and tennis teams.
The residence that was struck is located at 35 Amenia Union Road.
The case remains under open investigation. Witnesses are asked to contact Trooper Lukas Gryniuk at Troop B 860-626-1821.