Reassessing how we punish victims of domestic violence

Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
Natalia Zuckerman
Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
SALISBURY — “Nikki’s lifelong belief that she had to hide is rooted in a cultural truth that, in fact, your truth is not always safe, and you’re not always going to be believed.” said author Michelle Horton of her sister, Nikki Addimando, a survivor of years of domestic violence who was ultimately incarcerated for killing her abuser.
Horton was presenting her new book, “Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds,” at an event at The Scoville Library on Wednesday, March 27.
It was put on in conjunction with Project SAGE, a community-focused organization dedicated to supporting and advocating for victims of relationship violence, and the Nicole Addimando Community Defense Committee, a collective of Addimando’s friends and advocates who built a national grassroots movement to repeal, repair and ultimately end the harms of criminalizing domestic abuse survivors.
Nicole Addimando is the central figure of Horton’s book, a breathtaking account of the high-profile case in which Addimando was sentenced to life for the killing of her long-time abuser.
Overnight, Horton became the caregiver for Addimando’s two small children, Ben and Faye, while also raising her own son, Noah, as she embarked on the battle of a lifetime against the criminal justice system.
In September 2017, Addimando shot and killed her domestic partner, Christopher Grover in an act of self-defense. In April 2019, Addimando was convicted of second-degree murder and gun possession.
Despite an abundance of evidence to corroborate the years of abuse Addimando endured, the prosecution instead relied on harmful fallacies, domestic violence myths, character assassination, victim blaming and unsubstantiated claims to make their case.
But perhaps most disturbingly, prior to Addimando’s sentencing, New York passed the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act, which specifically authorized reductions in sentences for domestic-violence survivors when the abuse they suffered “was a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s criminal behavior.”
Judge Edward McLoughlin, an elected judge still serving on Dutchess County’s Supreme and County Courts, presided in Addimando’s case, and ruled instead that the case did not meet the requirements of a reduced sentence because she “could have left her abuser.”
On February 11, 2020, Judge McLoughlin sentenced Addimando to 19-years-to-life, plus 15 years, plus 5 years post supervision.
After a year of advocacy, in June 2021, an appeals court struck down the ruling, and Addimando’s sentence was reduced to 7.5 years. She was released from prison in January 2024 and is currently on parole and living with her sister in Poughkeepsie.
The bigger picture
In the US, three women die every day at the hands of a current or former intimate partner, and the myth of “just leaving” is not possible. A commonly referenced statistic among domestic violence advocates is that victims make an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship.
Leaving isn’t a single event; rather, it’s a complex process that necessitates meticulous preparation and groundwork. Decades of research, including a groundbreaking femicide study from 2003, by Jacquelyn Campbell, and a three-country study from 1993, by Margo Wilson and Martin Daly, shows that the most dangerous time for a victim is when she is leaving the relationship.
After Horton’s reading of a moving passage from the book which underscored the trauma experienced by Addimando and her family, an audience member expressed shock that Addimando was “hiding in plain sight to most of her family and friends.”
The audience member then went on to ask what could be done to “encourage people to be more courageous in seeing and helping victims and what can be done to encourage victims to reach out to broader support?”
Virginia Gold, director of client services at Project Sage responded by noting that the current social environment emphasizes enabling the victim to make different choices.
She explained that this was a way of blaming or putting the onus on the victim of domestic violence, which “creates a context in which someone hears the unspoken messages that they are the one who has to fix this thing happening to them, as opposed to the idea that we are responsible for shifting our assumptions about how relationships should work.”
She said, “one of the reasons that we talk about social change [is that this] erases the responsibility that we need to hold for perpetrators and the conversation that we need to have that identifies the kinds of behaviors that are condoned, ignored, rationalized, or allowed to continue.
The justice system
“How do we go about getting this judge off the bench?” asked another audience member to applause, referring to Judge McLoughlin.
Horton responded, “We need voters in Dutchess County to spread the word because he will be up for reelection in 2025.
“It’s an elected position so we can vote him out of power. It is possible.”
Judge McLoughlin is also a professor of criminal law at Marist College, where some students are petitioning to terminate his role due to his handling of Addimando’s case.
Among the list of grievances against the judge is perpetuation of harmful myths about domestic violence. “How can the college claim to ‘foster a safe living and learning environment for all’ when someone with such a fundamental, well-documented lack of understanding about domestic violence is allowed to shape the minds of young people?” the petition asks.
There are currently 812 signatures on the petition. Marist declined to comment.
A staff member of Judge McLoughlin’s chambers said that because the case is still considered pending, McLoughlin is not able to comment on the case at this time.
Aftermath
“I never had any illusion that Nikki coming home was going to be a happy ending, but I think she’s in a much better position than most,” Horton said, referring to the fact that Addimando has resources, community and family support, something the majority of incarcerated women do not.
Horton said that the family is working to heal from this trauma.
“We’re all looking forward to the future but it’s challenging at different points because, you know, healing is hard,” she said.
The LED sign in front of Amenia's Town Hall on Route 22 warns passing motorists of the current temporary burn ban, in effect from Oct. 2 to Oct. 15.
A statewide burn ban is in effect as of Thursday, Oct. 2, the New York State Governor's office announced in a press release.
The temporary ban is in effect until at least Oct. 15, and the statement released by the governor's office said the restrictions will be re-evaluated prior to the Oct. 15 deadline.
Lighting fires for brush or debris disposal and large, uncontained fires for cooking or other purposes are banned until at least Oct. 15 under the statewide order. Backyard fire pits, contained camp fires no larger than 3 feet in height and 4 feet in diameter, and small, contained cooking fires are still permitted under the burn ban.
New York State has faced dry conditions all autumn, triggering drought watches and warnings across most of the state.
Dutchess County, along with the other counties in the Catskills region, are under a drought watch according to the Department of Environmental Conservation's drought condition map.
Dutchess County is currently under a "high" fire danger rating, according to the DEC.
LAKEVILLE, Conn. — Barbara Meyers DelPrete, 84, passed away Tuesday, September 30, 2025.
A Funeral Mass will be celebrated Saturday, October 4, 2025, at 11:00a.m. at St. Mary’s Church, 76 Sharon Rd., Lakeville.
A complete obituary will appear in next week’s Lakeville Journal.
To offer an online condolence, please visit ryanfhct.com.
Volunteers were hard at work putting the finishing touches on the crucial creepy decorations for the Haunted Fortress of Stanford on Sunday, Sept. 28.
STANFORD — Greg Arent led a devoted team of volunteers on Sunday, Sept. 28, in a final push to prepare Stanford’s Haunted Fortress for opening day.
Final touches included cleaning the bottomless pit, scrubbing the pirate ship, raking the graveyard and dressing the dolls. By 2 p.m., about 20 volunteers had assembled to creepify the beloved local landmark.
Many of the volunteers have been coming back for years, Arent said, dedicating time and valuable skills to the town-owned haunted house that was constructed by the artist Peter Wing.
Arent has been building sets in his free time for forty years, but he started out volunteering with the Haunted Fortress in 2014 when his children wanted to get involved, he said. At that time he would help out one or two days a year. That grew into a leadership position over the course of a decade.
On Sunday, Arent was touring the decrepit grounds checking light bulbs, soundtracks and other set details to contribute to that perfect spooky ambience.
Nathan Miller
When it’s all said and done, the Fortress will be ready to welcome visitors starting on Friday, Oct. 3, with shows running from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays and 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. on Sundays. The Haunted Fortress is entirely staffed by volunteers, Arent said, including the actors that don costumes to scare visitors. Anybody aged 6 and up can volunteer to act in the horror show, and families often will volunteer to take over a scene.
“I love it because every scene is different every night,” Arent said. “Sure there are going to be vampires in this scene, but this family is going to do it different from these three kids from Bard, who are going to do it different from these three middle school kids.”
The sets themselves were all built from recycled material to be as creepy and decrepit as possible, Arent said. Concrete culverts adorn the sides of a bridge over a stream, stacked vertically with a cone on top to elicit a fortress’s spires. Reclaimed lumber bolted to a fence evokes a dark and scary forest blocking any escape. A rusting tractor with a steel box welded above the seat sits on a set of rails with two cars attached to it, mimicking a wrecked train with it’s inner mechanisms exposed and blowing steam on passersby.
This year the Haunted Fortress is following a haunted circus theme featuring clowns and other carnival staples alongside the classic settings of the Fortress.
The team of volunteers is dedicated and numerous, and the Stanford Highway Department lends a hand too, Arent said, but there’s always a need for skilled labor at the local attraction.
And the group appreciates all the help they can get. “Whatever you’re interested in and capable of doing,” Arent said.
The haunted pirate ship marks the spot where groups of visitors are paired with their ghastly guides for the remainder of the Haunted Fortress tour in Stanford.Nathan Miller
From left, Jim Milton, Spencer Parks and William J. Clark stand with Joseph Olenik on their first day working under him as the head of Public Works on Monday, Sept. 29.
MILLERTON — The Village announced a leadership change at the Highway Department on Friday following the resignation of Superintendent Peter Dellaghelfa. Police Chief Joseph Olenik will step into the role, effective immediately, officials said.
Olenik will continue to serve as Police Chief.
The decision was made Friday, Sept. 26, during an emergency meeting of the Board of Trustees following Dellaghelfa’s resignation.
Mayor Jenn Najdek said the “amicable split” with Dellaghelfa was part of an ongoing annual employee review process, adding that turnover is not uncommon in small municipalities. She expressed her gratitude for Dellaghelfa’s service over the last four years.
The Board went into Executive Session on Aug. 26 and Sept. 9 for “matters leading to the appointment, employment, promotion, demotion, discipline, suspension, dismissal or removal of a particular person,” but village officials could not comment on the specifics of those discussions.
The leadership shift will allow the Village to “better respond to the changing needs of our residents and community,” announced the Board in a press release shared with The News. “The Mayor and Board are excited to see Joe expand his impact on Millerton and we’re confident this change will bring lasting improvements to operations, communications and community engagement.”
Police Chief Olenik, who will continue his leadership role within the Millerton Police Department, said he is looking forward to the added responsibilities.
“I am excited to help move the department forward and rebuild it after the devastating fire,” Olenik said. “I am also looking forward to working with the dedicated staff and helping the residents of Millerton by making needed changes and repairs.”
Though Olenik will assume additional responsibilities as he leads the Highway Department, the Millerton Police Department will continue to operate separately — but with the same shared goals of supporting the village community.
William J. Clark installs the leaf container he and his colleagues built. Leaves from the Village will be delivered to McEnroe’s Organic Farm for composting.Aly Morrissey
Mayor Najdek added that Olenik has extensive supervisory and administrative experience that, given the imminent need to rebuild the Highway Department building, will be critical. In addition to managing the upcoming construction, his first orders of business will include making sure the village is on track for leaf pick-up and snow removal, working to ensure the right equipment and personnel are in place.
Olenik held his first meeting with the Village Highway Department on Monday, Sept. 29 and discussed a new leaf container — built by Millerton’s Highway Department — that will support efforts to collect leaves. The leaves will then be turned over to McEnroe’s Organic Farm for composting. While the team configuration — which includes Jim Milton, William J. Clark, and Spencer Parks — will be new, Olenik said they are not strangers. “They’ve always helped me out and I’m looking forward to working with them more closely.”
The Board said in a statement the Village is in good hands moving forward. “Joe’s leadership style — hands-on, structured, and community-focused — makes him well suited to guide this department through the transition.”