
Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
Natalia Zuckerman
Michelle Horton told the story of her sister’s experience surviving domestic violence and subsequent incarceration at Scoville Memorial Library on March 27.
SALISBURY — “Nikki’s lifelong belief that she had to hide is rooted in a cultural truth that, in fact, your truth is not always safe, and you’re not always going to be believed.” said author Michelle Horton of her sister, Nikki Addimando, a survivor of years of domestic violence who was ultimately incarcerated for killing her abuser.
Horton was presenting her new book, “Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds,” at an event at The Scoville Library on Wednesday, March 27.
It was put on in conjunction with Project SAGE, a community-focused organization dedicated to supporting and advocating for victims of relationship violence, and the Nicole Addimando Community Defense Committee, a collective of Addimando’s friends and advocates who built a national grassroots movement to repeal, repair and ultimately end the harms of criminalizing domestic abuse survivors.
Nicole Addimando is the central figure of Horton’s book, a breathtaking account of the high-profile case in which Addimando was sentenced to life for the killing of her long-time abuser.
Overnight, Horton became the caregiver for Addimando’s two small children, Ben and Faye, while also raising her own son, Noah, as she embarked on the battle of a lifetime against the criminal justice system.
In September 2017, Addimando shot and killed her domestic partner, Christopher Grover in an act of self-defense. In April 2019, Addimando was convicted of second-degree murder and gun possession.
Despite an abundance of evidence to corroborate the years of abuse Addimando endured, the prosecution instead relied on harmful fallacies, domestic violence myths, character assassination, victim blaming and unsubstantiated claims to make their case.
But perhaps most disturbingly, prior to Addimando’s sentencing, New York passed the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act, which specifically authorized reductions in sentences for domestic-violence survivors when the abuse they suffered “was a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s criminal behavior.”
Judge Edward McLoughlin, an elected judge still serving on Dutchess County’s Supreme and County Courts, presided in Addimando’s case, and ruled instead that the case did not meet the requirements of a reduced sentence because she “could have left her abuser.”
On February 11, 2020, Judge McLoughlin sentenced Addimando to 19-years-to-life, plus 15 years, plus 5 years post supervision.
After a year of advocacy, in June 2021, an appeals court struck down the ruling, and Addimando’s sentence was reduced to 7.5 years. She was released from prison in January 2024 and is currently on parole and living with her sister in Poughkeepsie.
The bigger picture
In the US, three women die every day at the hands of a current or former intimate partner, and the myth of “just leaving” is not possible. A commonly referenced statistic among domestic violence advocates is that victims make an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship.
Leaving isn’t a single event; rather, it’s a complex process that necessitates meticulous preparation and groundwork. Decades of research, including a groundbreaking femicide study from 2003, by Jacquelyn Campbell, and a three-country study from 1993, by Margo Wilson and Martin Daly, shows that the most dangerous time for a victim is when she is leaving the relationship.
After Horton’s reading of a moving passage from the book which underscored the trauma experienced by Addimando and her family, an audience member expressed shock that Addimando was “hiding in plain sight to most of her family and friends.”
The audience member then went on to ask what could be done to “encourage people to be more courageous in seeing and helping victims and what can be done to encourage victims to reach out to broader support?”
Virginia Gold, director of client services at Project Sage responded by noting that the current social environment emphasizes enabling the victim to make different choices.
She explained that this was a way of blaming or putting the onus on the victim of domestic violence, which “creates a context in which someone hears the unspoken messages that they are the one who has to fix this thing happening to them, as opposed to the idea that we are responsible for shifting our assumptions about how relationships should work.”
She said, “one of the reasons that we talk about social change [is that this] erases the responsibility that we need to hold for perpetrators and the conversation that we need to have that identifies the kinds of behaviors that are condoned, ignored, rationalized, or allowed to continue.
The justice system
“How do we go about getting this judge off the bench?” asked another audience member to applause, referring to Judge McLoughlin.
Horton responded, “We need voters in Dutchess County to spread the word because he will be up for reelection in 2025.
“It’s an elected position so we can vote him out of power. It is possible.”
Judge McLoughlin is also a professor of criminal law at Marist College, where some students are petitioning to terminate his role due to his handling of Addimando’s case.
Among the list of grievances against the judge is perpetuation of harmful myths about domestic violence. “How can the college claim to ‘foster a safe living and learning environment for all’ when someone with such a fundamental, well-documented lack of understanding about domestic violence is allowed to shape the minds of young people?” the petition asks.
There are currently 812 signatures on the petition. Marist declined to comment.
A staff member of Judge McLoughlin’s chambers said that because the case is still considered pending, McLoughlin is not able to comment on the case at this time.
Aftermath
“I never had any illusion that Nikki coming home was going to be a happy ending, but I think she’s in a much better position than most,” Horton said, referring to the fact that Addimando has resources, community and family support, something the majority of incarcerated women do not.
Horton said that the family is working to heal from this trauma.
“We’re all looking forward to the future but it’s challenging at different points because, you know, healing is hard,” she said.
The Mobile Health Unit will be returning to Millerton on April 9 to provide basic health services and guidance on insurance and addressing greater health needs.
MILLERTON – Dutchess County’s Mobile Health Unit is returning to Millerton. On April 9, members of the public can receive vaccinations, STI screenings and assistance with general health needs.
Public health education coordinators will be on-site to provide information on tick removal as well as hands-only CPR and Narcan training. For those in need of further care, guidance will be provided as will assistance with insurance navigation.
The Mobile Health Unit will be located at the rail trail parking lot from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., just down the street from the North East Community Center, located at 51 South Center St. in Millerton.
Paquito D’Rivera performs at the Mahaiwe in Great Barrington on April 5.
Natalia Bernal is the Mahaiwe Performing Arts Center’s education and community engagement manager and is, in her own words, “the one who makes sure that Mahaiwe events are accessible to all.”
The Mahaiwe’s community engagement program is rooted in the belief that the performing arts should be for everyone. “We are committed to establishing and growing partnerships with neighboring community and arts organizations to develop pathways for overcoming social and practical barriers,” Bernal explained. “Immigrants, people of color, communities with low income, those who have traditionally been underserved in the performing arts, should feel welcomed at the Mahaiwe.”
Partnerships with organizations like Volunteers in Medicine Berkshires (VIM), the W.E.B. Du Bois Legacy Committee, and Community Access to the Arts (CATA) have helped bridge that gap. But for the Latinx community, there’s an even more targeted effort: the Spanish-language Community Advisory Network (SCAN).
“Six years ago, we started an advisory group of Spanish speakers in the community,” Bernal said. “They tell us what the community wants to see, how they’d like their culture represented. Today, SCAN has 12 members. We meet four times a year and are in constant communication. It’s because of them that we’ve hosted free Spanish-language film screenings and live performances.”
For Bernal, this work is personal. “When I first moved to the U.S. in 2003, it was because I got a Latin American scholarship to study at Berklee College of Music. That first year, I went home to Uruguay for Christmas and saw Paquito D’Rivera perform at a jazz festival. I was determined to meet him, and I did. Later that year, Paquito came to Berklee and invited me on stage.”
Now, two decades and 16 Grammys later, Paquito D’Rivera is coming to the Mahaiwe on April 5, and there’s a chance history might repeat itself. “He saw a post we made about his concert and commented, ‘Ay, chica, que maravilla, are you gonna sing a song with us?’ I almost died,” Bernal laughed. “I don’t know if it will happen, but it would be a dream.”
About the possibility of a guest appearance by Bernal, D’Rivera said, “Natalia is a very dear, valuable colleague, and jazz is about improvisation, so the surprise factor is always part of the fun here.”
D’Rivera’s concert is just one example of how the Mahaiwe is making world-class performances accessible. “My whole day has been about offering ‘pay what you can’ tickets for this show,” Bernal says. “We also issued a 50% discount to our partners. We work with ESL teachers, public libraries, literacy agencies, anyone who can help us get the word out.”
That kind of grassroots effort has been transformative. “Last year, we screened ‘Florencia en el Amazonas,’ the first opera written in Spanish ever performed at the Met,” Bernal said. “I sat in the Mahaiwe in tears. As someone who loves opera, it was the first time I heard one written in my own language. It was so powerful.”
Natalia Bernal, Mahaiwe’s education and community engagement managerPhoto by Martin Cohen
For Bernal, it all comes back to representation, on stage and in the audience. “My son is eight. I bring him to everything I can. Spanish shouldn’t just be something that happens at the dinner table. It should be in the world, in all these shapes and forms.”
And that’s what SCAN is helping build: a future where Latinx voices aren’t just included, they are central. “Our SCAN advisors are volunteers, cultural ambassadors,” Bernal said. “They help us distribute surveys, talk to the audience, and strengthen the community. Nobody should feel alone. Everybody should feel like they belong here.”
Education and outreach are central to D’Rivera’s work as well. He said, “It is an important part of our mission to plant and nurture the seed of quality music in our communities.” He continued to say, “Using our visibility and influence in favor of justice is always a very effective vehicle in denouncing violations of human rights around the world.”
This shared mission of education and social justice extends beyond the Mahaiwe. “We are one of the few arts organizations in a monthly meeting with BASIC (Berkshire Alliance for Immigrant Services). We have direct ties to the Berkshire Immigrant Center, VIM, and others so that we are well-informed and ready to serve,” said Bernal.
That commitment to community, culture, and access is why Bernal’s dream panel—Women in the Music Business—would feature Paquito’s wife and longtime manager, Brenda Feliciano. “She’s a tower of power. She’s been managing his career for at least 45 years. If I could organize an event one day, she would be the cherry on the cake.”
Until then, Bernal will keep doing what she does best: making sure the Mahaiwe is a place where everyone, regardless of language, income, or background, feels at home. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll find herself back on stage with Paquito D’Rivera, just like that first time, all those years ago.
For more info and tickets to Paquito D’Rivera, visit mahaiwe.org
There is magic in a home filled with the things we love, and Mary Randolph Carter, affectionately known as “Carter,” has spent a lifetime embracing that magic. Her latest book, “Live with the Things You Love … and You’ll Live Happily Ever After,” is about storytelling, joy, and honoring life’s poetry through the objects we keep.
“This is my tenth book,” Carter said. “At the root of each is my love of collecting, the thrill of the hunt, and living surrounded by things that conjure up family, friends, and memories.”
The creative director at Ralph Lauren for almost four decades, Carter began writing this book during the pandemic, a time of rediscovering comfort. “I found more time to appreciate those special things that give our homes warmth and connection.” Working with Ralph Lauren, she learned that the best spaces tell a personal story. “His desk was filled with toy cars, miniature shoes, superheroes, English dandies, cowboys on horseback. The walls? A gallery of his children’s paintings, iconic photos of Frank Sinatra and Gary Cooper. Everything told a story.”
Carter acknowledges how homes can become overwhelmed with stuff but sees a difference between clutter and collection. “To live happily, create environments that inspire and comfort rather than encumber you! Look around and ask, ‘What is truly meaningful? What makes you smile? What recalls the people and places you cherish?’” Then, she added, “weed out the rest with discipline and courage!”
Provided
Each home in Carter’s book reflects its inhabitant’s spirit. “The first time I walked into Bethann Hardison’s apartment, I knew right away how authentic it was to who she is.” Hardison’s walls are lined with artwork from friends Keith Haring, Jean-Michel Basquiat, and Haitian paintings, testaments to a life well lived. “Though her mantra is, ‘the lighter the load, the freer the journey,’ she also admits some things ‘delight your environment’ and can’t be parted with. Amen to that!”
Having survived two childhood fires, Carter deeply understands what truly matters. “It’s not the things, but the people and memories they evoke.” She loves her collections, but they don’t possess her. “They make me happy, but they do not define me.”
She delights in how people showcase treasures. Paula Grief, for instance, lives in a ten-foot-wide house and had to part with many books. “She tucks the ones she can’t live without through the rungs of her staircase. I love that ingenuity!”
When asked about her most cherished possession, Carter tells a story of loss and serendipity. A childhood portrait of her in a blue velvet dress was lost in a fire. “Years later, the artist’s daughter found another version. Now, it hangs in our apartment, surrounded by flea market art and one of my favorite saints, Our Lady of Guadalupe.”
Adding to the cozy feeling of this book, Carter’s son, Carter Berg, took the photographs, and her sister, Cary, contributed the illustrations. “Cary once stayed in our apartment and painted a dozen objects from our cluttered kitchen. I hung them immediately. When I started this book, I knew she had to capture my favorite objects.”
Four of the featured homes are local to the Northwest Corner, including Carter’s in Millerton, Joan Osofsky’s in Lakeville, Robin Bell’s in Salisbury, and Paula Grief’s in Hudson. They all gathered at the White Hart/Oblong Speaker Series on March 27.
After perusing the richly colored pages of this book, you may feel tempted to shop. “You don’t need money to create a meaningful home,” Carter insisted. “Some of my favorite paintings cost no more than $10 or $25. Value is personal. It’s not about provenance but the story an object tells you or the one you make up.”
Carter’s advice? “Fall in love with the wackiest thing. Surround yourself with what matters, and you’ll live happily ever after.”