Frank Sinatra sang “The Best is Yet to Come” and I now see how right he was. The summer of 2021 came around and life was settling into a post-Covid “normal” and I was still researching online dating sites. One weekend I had four dates, the first three of whom were not right for me, but the fourth piqued my interest. Rather than the corporate type I knew so well and expected to meet, he was an artist (like my late husband), and I loved his creativity, his imagination, and his intellectual curiosity. As with every date, I texted him afterwards to thank him, and when he didn’t reply I texted him again — I figured I had nothing to lose — and asked if it was “something I wrote,” and he replied that no, he wanted to see me “ sooner rather than later.” He asked me out for Thai food which I purported to love, though I really don’t except for pad Thai noodles.
We had a ball - he was funny (and equally important he found ME funny!), well read, shared my very strong political beliefs, was a great listener, ate with gusto, and when we sat on a bench in downtown Rhinebeck he kissed me , and I swear it felt like coming home (that said, he swears that after he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight I couldn’t leave quickly enough, but that may have been confusion/ guilt because something felt SO right to me).
On our second date he invited me and my poodle Charlie for dinner. I can’t imagine a better way to a woman’s heart than through her dog and indeed he had several biscuits for Charlie.
We dated until the end of the year , talking a lot about our relationship and what it meant for each of us, and who doesn’t love a man who will openly talk about his feelings. He had a long and generally happy marriage, a divorce and then a two-year relationship, and I had been dating for two years; we each admitted we were not sure each other was “the one.” I’m five years older than he is and he had spent most of his life with much younger women; my late husband was 12 years older, and brought me thematurity and self-confidence that I was seeking. Nevertheless, it was one of the many things we’d each have to think through, so we decided to take a break.
For the next six months we were each back on Match, busily meeting even more people, but we remained each others confidante, critiquing the people each other met and definitely not meeting “the one.” We then realized we’d never know if we could really build something unless we worked at it, so that June we became “exclusive.” In October we moved in together, and a year a half later we remain the best of friends and lovers; we count on spending our remaining years together , convinced we could not be any happier.
We’re probably still not each other’s “ideal” person, but for starters neither of us wants to ever date again, and we love just being together, having someone to ask “how was your day,” sharing our histories, and creating our own memories. Back in the day it was so important that the man I chose was liked by my mother (seriously? I was almost 40), by my friends, grew up the way I did, attended a similar college and so on, but I realized that none of that mattered any more. Now I only wanted to feel certain we would be happy growing old together, and would always be there for each other. When people asked what drew me to him I’d say that we never ran out of conversation, and I realized that was a pretty good indication of what our life together could be . Can we make each other crazy — absolutely — we have a combined 155 years of baggage that’s part of who we are, but we never try and change each other. We may tweak a few things along the way, but at this stage in life you fall in love with a fully developed human and you need to accept the whole package.
I continue to urge friends to try online dating — of course you kiss a lot of frogs — but you have the ability to present your best self, pick and choose , and sometimes if you’re very lucky, find THE ONE, as I did.
Gwen Greene is retired and lives in Pine Plains with her partner Dennis, her puppy Charlie, and 2 Angus cows, also retired.
"They had this in mind from last year," girls varsity head coach Les Funk of Pine Plains said. Funk said the young team wanted the sectional title and "never gave up," until they won it Wednesday, March 5, at Mount Saint Mary College.Photo by Nathan Miller
Naveah Rennie, no 34 of Pine Plains, was the Bombers' dominant scorer, racking up 20 points by the end of the matchup against S.S. Seward Institute during the Section IX Class C finals at Mount Saint Mary College on Wednesday, March 5.Photo by Nathan Miller
Lent: Time to consider social gospel movement
We are entering the annual Christian season of Lent this week.With its 40 days of contemplation and “little Easter” Sundays, it is a time to remember the healing ministry and the sacrifice of Jesus.During this season, we are invited to think deeply about our role as agents of grace and love in our hurting world.
There is a long history of making sacrifices and commitments for Lent, modeling our discipleship and hopes for a more heavenly world. It is through this lens that I invite you to join us in considering what gifts and services the community needs that we can commit to bringing forth in the weeks leading up to Easter.While many lean into solitary introspection during Lent, it may be particularly advantageous to use our meditations and sacrifices for the greater good this year.
John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, advised his followers centuries ago that “The gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but social; no holiness but social holiness. Faith working by love is the length and depth and breadth and height of Christian perfection.”These words are connected to the firm belief of Wesley that a Methodist was fundamentally one who loved God with all their heart, mind, strength, and soul, along with loving one’s neighbor as oneself.He believed that being in love with God naturally also required loving other people, as every person was a beloved soul coming from the same source of life that we are.
Consequently, Wesley stood against slavery long before it was a popular view, prioritized caring for those who were poor and imprisoned, and made a point to do good to as many as he could for as long as he was physically able.
Indeed, the Methodists are not the only Christians who believe such things.These thoughts are primary messages of the Christian faith.In more recent history, we can note that during the time of the Golden Age, at the end of the late 19th century, the Christians mobilized to counteract the abject poverty, child labor, dangerous working conditions, and lack of education of the time.Famous theologians such as Washington Gladden, Walter Rauschenbusch, and W.E.B. DuBois began the Social Gospel movement, enacting with new verve the passion of Christ that empowers the community toward building the Kingdom of God.As Christians, they believed in uplifting the downtrodden and creating a community where all had a chance to thrive.Child labor laws were enacted, better working conditions were secured, Sunday School helped provide education, settlement houses were created, and the Salvation Army was born.
The social gospel movement continued in another wave of reforms and empowerment through the Civil Rights era.Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his intellect, energy, and life to help secure the reforms that enabled persons of color to vote, go to non-segregated schools, and have the right to share public spaces without discrimination.Like Christ, he paid the ultimate price for his prophetic vision.However, his impact on our society was formidable, lasting far beyond his short lifetime.
As Christians, it is very clear what to do in times of hardship, crisis, or challenge.Throughout the centuries, our call has been to help heal the world, doing whatever we can to uplift and transform loneliness into community, reminding each one how precious they are and how important it is to unite for the sake of the whole.Individually, the challenges can be overwhelming, even too much to bear.Collectively, we can do all things through the One who strengthens us.As they say, “We have the receipts!” We can do it again.
This Lent, let us give up our pessimism and fear, replacing it with a commitment to community and hope.Yes, things can seem dreadful, but our souls are not served by allowing ourselves to descend into the dark.We are keepers of the light.Let us do all within our power to create brightness so that its warmth may strengthen all as we live into the Social Gospel movement for our time.Chin up, friends, we can do this.We simply must be willing to get serious about doing it together.
Rev. Dr. Anna Crews Camphouse is pastor of Canaan, Lakeville, Millerton, and Sharon United Methodist Churches
Lead Pastor of the Northwestern Hills Cooperative
Parish UMC