Casper ter Kuile spoke at the Salisbury Forum on Friday, May 9 at the Salisbury School offering insights on the impact of higher rates of people living alone and fewer close relations among all age groups.
SALISBURY — Writer, podcast creator and relationship theorist Casper ter Kuile spoke at the Salisbury Forum May 9 to offer his insights on the modern loneliness crisis, delivering a stimulating talk on how the ancient act of covenant may offer a salve for increasing social disconnect in the United States.
The evening was hosted at Salisbury School’s Miles P.H. Siefert ’53 Theater.
Early in the presentation, ter Kuile related an anecdote from his youth at a boarding school: “Being in this beautiful school campus is reminding me a little bit of that childhood.” He said he was an “awkward” child when he was around 10 and struggled with friendships with his classmates.
As a solution, he developed a points system for each other boy based on “how nice he’d been to [him] that day.” At the end of the week, “whoever had the highest score was my best friend,” he related to a chorus of laughs from the audience.
“It was a lonely childhood,” he said, breaking into laughter himself.
The loneliness his talk addressed though was a more pervasive kind than mere adolescent awkwardness, one that is deeply rooted in culture and economics and affects many in the U.S. and beyond.
“Hanging out with friends, dating people, working life — all drastically down amongst our younger generation,” adding that the phenomenon of loneliness is not unique to young people, but other factors such as higher rates of living alone and fewer close relationships — both family and friends — affect all age groups. “One in four Americans say they have no one to talk to about the most meaningful things in their lives,” he added. “And that includes family members.”
Ter Kuile explained that these statistics are not without cause. Individualism, as it is “baked into” Western politics, democracy and culture, has turned us largely away from each other and toward ourselves.
Ter Kuile’s practice of scoring his classmates is an example of the “commodification of relationships,” he said — a “give and take” model of connecting with others.
New technologies have also contributed in surprising ways. He recounted an example told to him by a fisherman about a practice in bygone days of sharing the catch with neighbors when there was surplus. Since the advent of the freezer, the fisherman told him, the tradition disappeared as people could store their fish for themselves to have later.
One of ter Kuile’s major points described the disappearance of “containers” for social connection, the term he applies for large cultural meeting points and organizations, such as a church. With an academic background in theology, he said he’s curious about what happens when these centers for community ritual disappear.
He posited the “philosophy and practice” of “covenant” as a balm to these disappearing and eroding social resources — a vulnerable, commitment-oriented relationship that helps people transition from “independent to mutually dependable.”
Ter Kuile asked audience members to turn to their seat neighbor and talk about covenants they would like to forge in their own lives. Beth and Bruce, a couple from Cornwall, said that they both had ideas: Beth would like to be a resource and helpful presence in her grandchildren’s lives as they “spread their wings” into adolescence, while Bruce said he’d like to help a former coworker navigate the retirement process.
When ter Kuile opened the floor for questions, an audience member called for Mary Campbell to stand and speak about the non-profit she founded in 2006, Walking our Talk. Based in Berkshire County, the group offers a community hub for women both established in the area or new to town, which Campbell said had been deeply valuable for herself and other women as a new type of social “container.”
After the event had ended, Campbell said she had been “just so inspired” by ter Kuile’s words as they helped her reflect on her own experiences of community and intimacy. “Everything he talked about just jazzes me up,” she said.
As the audience filtered out of the theater, several attendees approached Campbell hoping to learn more about the non-profit.
Ter Kuile’s most direct summary of his philosophy of connection was in response to a question posed by Salisbury Forum Vice President Sarah Tennyson, who asked about the value in forming a covenant with oneself.
“I think we’re a little obsessed with ourselves,” he responded. Rather than follow the age-old guidance of looking within for answers, he suggested that perhaps it is time to look towards each other.
Devon Allman
On Friday, Aug. 15, The Devon Allman Project will play Infinity Hall in Norfolk. As the son of the legendary musician Gregg Allman, Devon carries on the family tradition while stepping out on his own.
“We’re honored to keep the tradition alive,” said Allman. “But I don’t play my records and try to compare them to records from 50 years ago. I try to write songs that mean something to me, and hopefully they’ll resonate with other people.”
His band features harmonica player/singer Jimmy Hall, guitarist Larry McRae and singer Sierra Green.
“It’s an all-star show. Jimmy Hall is from the great Wet Willie band from the ‘70s. Larry McCray is regarded in blues circles as a legend, and we’re honored to introduce Sierra Green. She’s a fantastic up-and-coming R&B singer from New Orleans who has been wowing the crowds. Everybody gets to pick up the ball and run with it. It’s an elevated show for sure.”
Their Infinity Hall Norfolk gig will feature cuts from his new album “Blues Summit,” as well as hits from The Allman Brother’s catalog, tunes from Devon’s early catalog and songs by Jimmy Hall.
The Devon Allman ProjectHeather Johnson
Asked what he learned about life from his famous father, Allman chuckled and said,
“Stay away from drugs and don’t get married seven times! My dad would laugh and agree to that. Musically, just let the music ooze out of you know. You don’t want to force it. Play what moves you.”
“I didn’t meet my father until I was 17. Once I met him, I went out on tour with The Allman Brothers instead of going to my senior year of high school. I already knew what I wanted to do, but I really wanted to see if it was going to be my calling. They had me sit in on the final night of the tour in Miami singing “Midnight Rider” to 5,000 people. I was 17, and that did it. The energy was just amazing. I was putting bands together from then on,” he added.
Various members of the extensive Allman Brothers family have their own musical projects such as the “Allman Betts Family Revival.” For those shows, Devon tips his hat to Duane Allman and Dicky Betts by playing a Gibson Les Paul but for The Devon Allman Project, he primarily plays a 1966 Fender Stratocaster.
Gregg Allman, who died on May 27, 2017, passed down many of his prized instruments to his son.
“He left me 43 guitars. I also got his grand piano and his Hammond B3 organ. The grand piano is set up in my music room; the Hammond B3 comes with us on the revival tours. I try to utilize his instruments so they’re not just sitting around,” he said.
Audiences at Infinity Hall Norfolk can expect solid grooves, dynamic range, and a lot of energy.
Having started their tour in Sweden, the band will carry on playing the USA and Europe for three week stretches over the next year.
“We’re just having a lot of fun. Infinity Hall is a great venue, and we always love playing it. We hope to see everybody!” Allman said.
For ticket info, merchandise and more, visit:devonallmanproject.com
Fire hydrant replacements in the village disrupted water service for businesses on Main Street.
MILLERTON — Construction on Main Street last week disrupted traffic as crews worked to replace an outdated fire hydrant next to Oakhurst Diner.
The scheduled maintenance, which continued into this week, was part of a 2019 grant awarded by the New York State Department of Health under the Water Infrastructure Improvement Act. Since then, the village has been upgrading undersized, damaged and outdated hydrants. A total of 25 hydrants have been replaced.
A statement on the village website reads, “This initiative aims to align our water system with the 10 States Recommended Standard for Water Works, enhancing safety by reducing the risk of hydrant vehicular strikes.” Water service was temporarily shut off at times last week and Monday as part of the scheduled work.
An employee at Oakhurst Diner said the water disruption caused the restaurant to open late on Friday at noon but had otherwise not affected business as of Monday morning.
The Millerton Moviehouse was granted $150,000 for HVAC repairs. Moviehouse owner David Maltby said the repairs were needed as the HVAC system in the building is 40 years old.
MILLERTON — The Millerton Moviehouse announced last week that it received a $150,000 grant from State Senator Michelle Hinchey (D-41). Moviehouse owners David Maltby and Chelsea Altman accepted the check alongside town supervisor Chris Kennan and Senator Hinchey.
The funds will be allocated toward HVAC repairs that were completed in April, a crucial part of ongoing capital projects necessary for maintaining the historic 120-year-old building.
In an era when arts funding is increasingly unpredictable, the board and staff expressed “deep gratitude” for Senator Hinchey’s support. Maltby said securing the grant took more than a year and he credited the grant to the transformative work he, Altman and their team have done since purchasing the Moviehouse during the COVID pandemic and converting it into a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.
No longer a one-trick pony, the Moviehouse has grown into a community arts organization, offering more than just movies. “We have something for everyone, from first-run features and independent films to documentaries and special events like Q&As with filmmakers,” said Maltby, who grew up going to the Moviehouse as a child and had a vested interest in the preservation of the historic building.
The old way of operating a movie theater, Maltby said, relied on successful blockbusters and audience turnout. Additionally, theaters were impacted by COVID habits and streaming technology. The nonprofit model has brought opportunities to sustain The Moviehouse’s bottom line, but perhaps more importantly, has brought the community together.
Maltby said he is especially proud of their expanding education and community partnerships programs, which include after-school filmmaking workshops and free screenings, showcasing student-made films and partnering closely with local schools and organizations. “Becoming a nonprofit has allowed us to fully embrace and grow that mission,” he said.
Maltby believes their nonprofit status, which enables the organization to give back to the community through a variety of programs, played a key role in securing the grant.
About a year and a half ago, Senator Hinchey had an initial meeting with The Moviehouse to discuss a grant. “She’s known us for years and recognizes us as a key part of Millerton’s economy — arguably one of the most important contributors to the town’s daily life and its growth,” Maltby said.
During their meeting, Hinchey informed The Moviehouse about a state fund available to legislators for capital improvements to local businesses and nonprofits. Given the building’s age and maintenance needs, The Moviehouse saw this as an ideal opportunity to address critical renovation projects.
Their top priority was replacing the 40-year-old HVAC system that had been patched together over time and was expensive to maintain. The Moviehouse developed a $150,000 plan to replace the entire system, ductwork, and boiler and to insulate the attic and other areas.
“It’s the non-sexy, behind-the-scenes work people won’t see, but for keeping the movie theater running, it’s one of the most important things we can do,” Maltby said.
In a statement posted to Facebook, Senator Hinchey said, “I was happy to provide a $150,000 state grant to the Moviehouse in Millerton to support energy-efficient upgrades that will help lower operating costs and keep this treasured community institution accessible and enjoyable for years to come.”
Several years after his COVID purchase of the Moviehouse, Maltby said it is running like a well-oiled machine, and gives effusive thanks and credit to his team, which he describes as intentionally lean and hard-working.
General manager Jeremy Boviard, for example, has been with the Moviehouse since 2021 and Maltby said he “runs the team and day-to-day operations with such efficiency and ease and is a huge reason why this whole thing works.” As for Helen Seslowsky who handles marketing and public relations, Maltby said “If it happens, it’s because Helen makes it happen.” Working under the previous ownership since 2014, they joked that Seslowsky “came with the building.” She handles a wide range of responsibility behind–the-scenes to make things run smoothly.
“Everyone seems to enjoy working here, which is amazing — and I think that energy translates directly to our customers’ experience,” said Maltby, whose children also work at The Moviehouse in the summer. “It’s been incredibly rewarding overall, especially as we’ve been able to grow our mission and our partnerships with the community.”
Republican County Comptroller candidate Will Truitt currently serves as the chair of the Dutchess County Legislature.
Republican Will Truitt of Hyde Park is facing off against Democrat Dan Aymar-Blair for the county comptroller seat in the Nov. 4 election.
Truitt currently serves as the chair of the Dutchess County Legislature and has served as Hyde Park and Pleasant Valley’s representative in the legislating body for the past ten years.
Truitt, 29, made his first foray into politics as a student at Marist College at the age of 19.
After a stint interning in Marc Molinaro’s office, Truitt decided to run for office himself. At the age of 20 he unseated the incumbent representative of Hyde Park and he’s been reelected to the seat ever since.
“I was knocking on all my neighbors doors,” Truitt said. “A lot of them recognizedand kind of knew who I was. They knew that I really wanted to serve and they put their faith in me.”
Truitt said his experience as the chair of the county legislature’s Budget and Finance Committee, and his current full-time job at Metzger Construction Corp. in Hopewell Junction, have prepared him for the comptroller’s position.
“You have to understand dollars and cents, you have to understand finance,” Truitt said. “I went to Marist for business, finance and accounting and a minor in economics so none of the language felt foreign to me.”
The County Legislature chair cited the passage of term limit regulation as a major success of his 10 years in government. “I have always believed term limits should be in place for all levels of government,” Truitt said. “I brought forward term limits in my first term and it failed pretty miserably. I brought it back in my second year and it passed unanimously.” Now, all elected county officials are limited to no more than 12 years in a particular post.
Truitt reflected on a failed bid to unseat New York Assemblywoman Didi Barrett when he was just 22-years-old, saying he’s eager to return to Northeast Dutchess County and meet more people on the campaign trail.
“I got to really know so many people in that region,” Truitt said. “I ran for the state assembly when I was that young because I — just like I did when I ran for the Dutchess County Legislature — I thought I could provide a strong voice for the people.”
