Schlock and Awful: winter edition

A scene from “Exterminators of the Year 3000”

Courtesy IMDB.COM

Schlock and Awful: winter edition

The Lakeville Journal’s Bad Cinema desk sincerely hopes everyone had something better to do last summer than sit inside and watch appallingly bad movies. Anything would do. Hiking. Antiquing. Going for coffee.

Even — and we realize this is strong stuff — writing poetry.

But now, winter is here. For those looking to while away the hours during the hibernation period, here are five more of the most spectacularly bad flicks currently available on streaming services such as Tubi, Freevee, and Sickee, not to mention Plex, Yecch and Blecch.

“Silent Madness” (1984): This ‘80s slasher was originally in 3D. Nobody cares but there it is. The best film ever shot in Nyack, New York, the cast includes some names regular people may have seen in normal movies. Loony bin in New Jersey lets psycho killer out by mistake, and psycho killer starts picking off sorority girls. Starts off nicely with death by vise grip, but then a whole lot of plot intervenes. Really bad mise-en-scene. As Jean-Luc Godard once said, “Le pfui.”

“Deliria” aka “Stage Fright” (1987): Italian slasher, in which the cast and crew of a play about a serial killer called the Night Owl are locked into the theater by the tyrannical director until they get the darn thing right. Well, the joke’s on Mr. Big Shot Director because local psycho Wallace is also in the theater, and he starts killing everybody. And he does this while dressed as a big owl. With plucky heroine and ambiguous ending.

“Truck Turner” (1974): Isaac Hayes is Truck Turner, bail bondsman and smooth lover, forced by circumstances beyond his control to clean up the streets and get his jailbird girlfriend a kitten. With gratuitous nekkidity and unironic fried chicken. The terrific soundtrack by Hayes adds a great deal, with toe-tapping, car-crashing numbers such as “Pursuit of the Pimpmobile,” “Hospital Shootout,” and “Drinking.”

“Exterminators of the Year 3000” (1983): Aka “Mildly Miffed Max,” this Road Warrior rip-off was made in Italy and Spain for about $11.87 (that’s $37.62 in today’s dollars). The big difference between this and the Mad Max films, besides talent, is in this one it’s water, not gasoline, that everybody’s after. There are a lot of cars crashing around and some weird dialogue that doesn’t make much sense and girls in leather pants which must have been really uncomfortable in the desert.

“Shrunken Heads” (1994): Here at The Lakeville Journal’s Bad Cinema desk, we like to save the worst for last. This flick, brought to you from the entire Elfman family, neatly and concisely explains why it’s never a good idea to get too close to your local voodoo practitioner. (A simple “Hello, how are you?” will suffice.) This incredibly strange film should have made “Eat Da Whizzo” a national catchphrase, but didn’t. With shrunken head sex, sort of, and righteous retribution against the bad guys. Highly recommended, especially if you’re in traction.

Latest News

Millbrook Library holds January personal care drive

The Millbrook Library on Franklin Avenue is accepting personal care items for a drive until the end of January.

Photo by Nathan Miller

MILLBROOK — Throughout the month of January, the Millbrook Library is collecting personal care items as part of a donation drive sponsored by the United Way in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. Service Week.

Among items suggested for donation are hair care products including shampoo and hairbrushes, soap, alcohol-free mouthwash, dental care products, women’s products, deodorant and shaving needs.

Millerton Fire Company to host pancake breakfast

On Sunday, Jan. 26, the Millerton Fire Company will be hosting a pancake breakfast at the fire house on Century Boulevard in the Village of Millerton.

Photo by Krista A. Briggs

MILLERTON — On Sunday, Jan. 26, the Millerton Fire Company will be hosting a pancake breakfast at the firehouse. Breakfast will be served starting at 7 a.m. Guests can indulge in eggs made to order, home fries, bacon and sausage, toast and — of course — pancakes. Breakfast is served until 11 a.m., and tickets cost $12 for adults and $8 for seniors. Children 12 and under will dine for free.

Pancakes will be available in blueberry and chocolate varieties.

Salisbury Association opens new preserve

The trailhead for the newly opened preserve.

Alec Linden

SALISBURY — Another 47 acres of pristine Salisbury woodland are now open to the public, thanks to the completion of a hiking trail on the Hecht Preserve located on Route 112.

The Salisbury Association Land Trust acquired the land from John and Mary Belter and Helen Belter Hill in late 2023, aided by funding from the Connecticut Open Space and Watershed Land Acquisition Program, U.S. Fish & Wildlife’s Highlands Act, and a generous donation from the Anne and Rollin Bates Foundation.

Keep ReadingShow less
New syringe production line up and running at BD

Becton Dickinson’s North Canaan plant opened in 1961 with eight employees and a 25,000 square foot facility. Today the operation employs more than 540 people and encompasses 385,000 square feet.

Provided

NORTH CANAAN — New production lines installed in 2024 at Becton, Dickinson and Company’s Connecticut and Nebraska plants are now pumping out critical medical devices — including syringes, needles and IV catheters — to meet the burgeoning needs of the nation’s health care system.

One syringe production line is already fully operational at the vaccine manufacturer’s 385,000 square foot North Canaan plant, with additional lines expected to start up in the coming months, the leading global medical technology company announced on Jan. 15.

Keep ReadingShow less