Savoring the schlock, one terrible film at a time

"Mandy"
Produced by SpectreVision

"Mandy"
Since Christmas I have watched about 200 of the worst movies I could find. Thanks to the wonders of streaming, the supply of horrible films is, apparently, inexhaustible.
A note on methodology: I relied heavily on Rifftrax, an outfit that does the hard work of digging up these relics and offers them accompanied by what they call “riffing,” meaning they crack jokes.
The danger here is concentrating on the commentary and not the movies. Here at The Lakeville Journal’s Bad Cinema Desk, we write our own jokes.
So when feasible, I found the straight version of a flick Rifftrax covers.
Free-with-ads services such as Tubi, Freevee, and Plex have vast libraries of cruddy stuff, so it’s not that hard to track these things down.
But sometimes it was just simpler to go with Rifftrax and do my best to avoid swiping their gags.
Here are five awful movies that got my attention, for all the wrong reasons.
“Mandy” (2018): Psychedelic pshocker with the always-entertaining Nicolas Cage doing battle against a cult of weirdos whose leader (Linus Roache) seems to think he’s a cross between Jesus and Charlie Manson, with a little Jon Anderson (of Yes) thrown in for seasoning.
The weirdos are in cahoots with a gang of mutant bikers, and everybody’s drinking down this sludgy LSD specially created for them by the Chemist because, A) he doesn’t like them, and B) he’s got a tiger.
Kung fu with chainsaws, medieval weapons and bare fists. Eyeball-popping. Barbed wire. Hallucinations galore. King Crimson music. Custom vans. About 40 gallons of blood. Dorm room theology. And Cage in his skivvies, for maximum horror.
“Fungicide” (2002): This could be called “outsider cinema.” It could also be called “amateurish dreck.” Both descriptions are correct.
A mad scientist, an ex-military guy with issues, a jort-wearing tough guy from Philly and a real estate dork all show up at a rustic bed and breakfast.
The mad scientist has done something to the mushrooms so the spores are floating around creating killer mushrooms and the world is gonna end. I think that’s the gist of it. It’s hard to tell. The sound is kinda muddy.
What makes this shine are the killer mushrooms. There are three types: Mushrooms with teeth that are about 2 feet tall; man-sized mushrooms (no teeth); and unconvincing computer mushrooms.
Mushroom attack cam. Real estate broker chewed by mushrooms. Excellent stick fights between cast members and the big mushrooms. The slowest martial arts kicks ever captured on someone’s aunt’s camcorder. Mad scientist who would steal the show if there was a show to steal. Fascinating in its way. However, you may lose IQ points by watching this.

“Miami Connection” (1987): Also outsider cinema, in the sense that it really wants to be inside.
This flick centers around the guys in Dragon Sound, a rock band that made me long for the hard-hitting sounds of Journey or a tape of seals giving birth, whichever is easier to round up.
The Dragon Sound members study tae kwon do with the rhythm guitarist, Mark, and they need it because they get mixed up with a cocaine-dealing bunch of ninja-type bad guys. Also Mark’s not much of a guitarist.
The flick’s got a “Scooby-Doo” or “Archies” feel to it, marred somewhat by the star’s inability to speak English.
The music sequences would be unbelievable…except they are indistinguishable from rock videos of the era. So if the hard work of dozens of professional filmmakers and musicians can be duplicated for about 10 cents on the dollar by a bunch of complete amateurs, that says something. Something profound. And if you give me a minute I’ll remember what it is.
“Radical Jack” (2000): Starring Mr. Achy Breaky his ownself, Billy Ray Cyrus, as Jack, ex-CIA, seeker of justice and proud owner of the most spectacular mullet haircut in world history.
Jack blows into a small Vermont town and gets tangled up in an arms-dealing racket. I know that when I’m in the market for a rocket-propelled grenade launcher or some other handy item, I always think “Vermont.”
Here I must bow in tribute to Rifftrax for the vocal stylings during the sponge bath scene.
Elsewhere, you will be as pleased as I was when the son of the bad guy gets it right in the pleated Dockers. In these lax, postmodern times, crimes against style are so rarely punished in public.

“The Apple” (1980): Saving the absolute worst for last, this is a sci-fi rock musical, written and directed by Menahem Golan.
The story is that something called the BIM is coming, and a whole mob of freaks in shiny underwear have to get ready. Meanwhile this guy Alphie wants to rescue this girl Bibi from the BIM and go live in a field with the hippies.
It’s difficult to describe this adequately, so let’s just go with “bonkers,” which was how Falls Village’s Garth Kobal summed it up in a recent discussion of the trashy and ephemeral.
The high point is a musical number, “Coming.”
I used to think that Donna Summer’s 1975 disco hit “Love to Love You Baby” was the last word in sex songs. I mean, it’s about 20 minutes of moaning over a relentless beat.
But next to “Coming,” Summer’s effort sounds like a Gregorian chant.
The other high point is the end. Well, near the end.
There is an honest-to-God deus ex machina. Literally. A guy in a glowing white suit who gets out of a glowing white Rolls Royce in the sky to lead the hippies to Paradise.
And it’s not John Lennon.
Note: Many Rifftrax flicks (and predecessor “Mystery Science Theater 3000”) are available on the above-mentioned streaming services. For the uninitiated, watching a riffed version is a safe way to enter the world of Bad Cinema. Only advanced viewers should attempt the original versions, due to the very real possibility of irreparable brain damage.
Millerton News
The annual Millerton Fire Company Easter egg hunt returned to Eddie Collins Memorial Park on Saturday, April 4.


Nathan Miller
MILLERTON — The Board of Trustees approved the coming year’s budget Monday, April 6, following no public comment.
The village’s expenses increased 15.8% over last year’s adopted budget. Board members attributed those increased costs to unavoidable spikes in health insurance rates and retirement payments.
Mayor Jenn Najdek said property assessments are slated to increase, which would provide the village with additional revenue. Najdek estimated tax increases of about $11.48 per $250,000 of assessed property value.
Tentative budget documents available on the village’s website reflect that wage increases and newly filled staffing positions further drove increases to the budget. Expenses for the Clerk and Treasurer’s office, along with the building department, each increased by more than 40% over last year. Deputy Mayor Matt Hartzog emphasized the board’s desire to provide raises to village staff.
“We have not given ourselves a raise,” Hartzog said. “But we would like to give all of our employees a raise, so that they can keep up with inflation.”
Hartzog called attention to rising medical insurance rates. Medical insurance expenses rose 15% to $38,300, representing roughly 4% of the total budget.
“Health insurance has just gone through the roof,” he said. “Nobody’s going to be happy about that.”
The Village Clerk budget increased by more than $21,000, driven by the separation of the Clerk and Treasurer line items, with both receiving hikes. The 15.9% rise, bringing the total to $70,240, represents the largest share of this year’s overall budget increase.
A similar additional line item in the Building Department expenses drove the 44% increase in that department’s budget. In addition to the “Building sec salary” line receiving a small increase, a “Building sec” line lists $11,700, contributing much of the total $11,852 increase to that department’s overall budget.
Police salaries increased by a total of $5,000. Highway crew salaries increased by $4,210 total.
Overall, the village expects to spend $975,156 this year, an increase of $132,836 over last year’s budgeted expenses.
Increases to expenses are partially offset by a $70,000 increase in expected non-tax revenue. That’s 22% higher than in 2025, but not quite enough to make up for the increased costs.
Millerton News
MILLERTON — The NorthEast-Millerton Library is set to host a free repair café on Saturday, April 25, in the library’s annex on Century Boulevard.
Fixers will offer free repairs for small electronics, clothing and textiles, and minor bicycle repairs among other things such as lamps and knife sharpening.
The event will run from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Repairs are limited to two items per person. Five knives count as one item.
The Millbrook Library will also be hosting a repair café on April 25 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. That event coincides with Millbrook’s community-wide yard sale.

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Nathan Miller
MILLERTON — The North East Town Board will add a workshop meeting to its regular monthly schedule after members said an additional meeting could help advance projects more efficiently.
Councilwoman Rachele Grieco Cole first proposed holding two meetings per month at the board’s March meeting. The discussion was continued at a workshop meeting on Wednesday, April 1, with council members agreeing to regularly hold a workshop meeting on the first Wednesday of every month at 5:30 p.m.
The additional meeting will provide time for discussion and planning, while the regular business meeting will continue on the second Thursday of each month. Council members supported the change, citing major projects and grant opportunities that would benefit from additional discussion.
Natalia Zukerman
Blues musician James Montgomery
When the Rock n’ Roll Circus rolls into Infinity Music Hall in Norfolk on Saturday, April 11, it will bring together an all-star lineup of musicians and a mission that reaches far beyond the stage.
Presented by Rockin’ 4 Vets, this concert will benefit the United Way of Northwest Connecticut’s “Stock the Shelves” program, which supports food pantries across the region. The United Way, part of a national network founded in the late 19th century, has long worked to mobilize communities in support of local health, education and financial stability initiatives, efforts that continue today through programs like Stock the Shelves, which helps ensure families have access to essential food resources.
It’s a dual mission that founder of Rockin’ 4 Vets Jim Tirabassi described simply: “We put on the show for a dual purpose — to make people happy and to support local causes.”
What began in 2015 as V is for Veterans has evolved into Rockin’ 4 Vets, a production company built around benefit concerts supporting veterans and community needs. Tirabassi, a former rock tour manager, said the work is less about music than mission. “I love building things and I love the idea of building these shows for a purpose.”
This year’s purpose has shifted a bit. “We are seeing that veterans and non-veterans have the same issues in terms of food access,” Tirabassi said. “So, we figured we’d make it a broad-based thing and do it for the food pantries throughout New England.”
The show itself promises to deliver on its “house party” promise with high-energy, high-octane rock and blues featuring Grammy-nominated guitarist Jon Butcher, former Epic Records artist Steve Gaspár and New England blues legend James Montgomery, along with a horn section and a rotating cast of accomplished players.
“It’s a bunch of people who actually like each other which is always a good starting point,” Montgomery said. “In the case of me and Jon Butcher, we’ve been playing together for something like 50 years.”
That chemistry extends beyond the stage. “We get together a few times a year and brush up,” Montgomery said. “We’ve been doing this long enough to understand how to put something together in sound check that’s actually gonna really gel.”
For Montgomery, who has performed with everyone from B.B. King to The Rolling Stones, Bonnie Raitt and James Brown, the spirit of the event is as important as the music. “We have a superstar lineup and then the added feature is we raise money to put food on the shelves.”
The collaboration has a long history. Montgomery was an early supporter of Tirabassi’s effort to assist veterans; an effort rooted in Tirabassi’s own service. “I was in the Army in the early ’70s,” Tirabassi said, adding that his organization now focuses on issues like PTSD, addiction and homelessness.
“I am a very fortunate person,” Tirabassi said. “My wife and I live fairly well and don’t have to worry about where our next meal’s coming from, but we were on a trip through New England last fall and we saw so many food banks with police directing traffic. People just trying to get some food. It was so bad and it broke both our hearts,” he continued. That moment of clarity became a driving force for this year’s show.
“What we’re trying to do is help society in general,” he said. “And when people come to the show, they’re part of that.”
Montgomery, a lifelong road warrior and harmonica player known for his work with artists from Muddy Waters to Gregg Allman, still lights up when talking about the energy of live performance and the connection it creates.
“It’s a really, really great place to play,” he said of Infinity Hall. “It feels really intimate when you play there.”
And in that intimate setting, the Rock n’ Roll Circus aims to do what it does best: bring people together through music while helping make sure more families have food on their tables.
Doors open at 7 p.m., with the show beginning at 8 p.m. Tickets are available at infinityhall.com.
Millerton News
MILLERTON — Robert Donald “Bob” Stevens, 63, a lifelong area resident died unexpectedly on Monday evening, March 30, 2026, at his home in Millerton, New York. Bob had a 40-year career with the Town of North East Highway Department where he currently served as the Town of North East Highway Superintendent for nearly two decades. One of Bob’s proudest accomplishments was seeing the completion of the new Town of North East Highway Department Facility on Route 22 in Millerton.
Born Dec. 20, 1962, in Sharon, he was the son of the late Kenneth W. and Roberta K. (Briggs) Stevens. Bob was a 1981 graduate ofWebutuck High School in Amenia, he also attended BOCES Technical School in Salt Point, New York, while enrolled at Webutuck. Bob served his community for many years as an active member of the Millerton Fire Company and was a longtime member of the New York State Association of Town Superintendents of Highways, Inc., where he always enjoyed attending highway training school in Lake Placid. Bob really enjoyed traversing the local roadways in Millerton in his iconic orange pick-up truck, and could often be seen at all hours of the day and night making sure that the main roads and side roads were in the best possible condition for his friends and neighbors. Bob loved the Town of North East and he will be dearly missed by those he served throughout his decades long career. In his spare time, he enjoyed texting with his son Robert, time on the Hudson River and rebuilding engines for many friends in his younger years.
Bob is survived by his son, Robert Donald Stevens, Jr., and his partner Elizabeth Gillett of Austin, Texas; his sister, Donna M. Archer of Rockledge, Pennsylvania; his nephew Josh Archer and his wife, Ashley Archer Monteiro of Jenkintown, Pennsylvania; his aunt, Annette Shaffer; his uncle, Frederick G. Briggs and many good friends. In addition to his parents, he was predeceased by his aunt, June Briggs.
At Bob’s request there will be no calling hours. Private entombment in The Community Mausoleum will take place at Poughkeepsie Rural Cemetery, 342 South Avenue, Poughkeepsie, NY.
Special stories, reflections of Bob and condolence offerings can be sent to Bob’s son at Robert.Stevens.Jr@gmail.com. Memorial contributions may be made to the Millerton Fire Company, P.O. Box 733, Millerton, NY 12546. To send an online condolence to the family or to plant a tree in Bob’s memory, please visit www.conklinfuneralhome.com. Arrangements have been entrusted to Scott D. Conklin Funeral Home, 37 Park Avenue, Millerton, NY 12546.

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