Soap opera

I don’t watch regular soap operas; I don’t have to. If I want to get my fill of scandal, cheating and general chicanery, I just turn on the sports channel.

The latest hot topic is spin. No, I don’t mean the propaganda coming from Washington, although that dips, dives and flutters like a good knuckleball. No, I mean the spin pitchers are putting on the ball, the amount of which is greater than at any time in recorded history and makes batters feel that something has been added to the pitcher’s arsenal, something not allowed by the rule book.

Yessir, it’s a scandal, one that has the airwaves humming and the commentators commentating. Maybe we should call this show “As The Ball Spins” or “All My Curves And Sliders.”

We all know batting averages are down; so there has to be a culprit somewhere, and the search is on to see who is at fault and what can be done about it. Serious stuff indeed.

So what are these nasty fellows up to? It seems that they are “loading the baseball,” not that this is anything new. Everyone knows that there are three ways to do it: scuff the ball, grease the ball or gunk the ball. It’s that last one that has the air wave fellas fulminating.

You probably have never heard of something called Spider Tack. I never had until one intrepid reporter mentioned it. It seems that World’s Strongest Man contestants use this gunk when they heave around those boulders that Sisyphus left at the bottom of the mountain. I’m going to assume that this is not something that you do for pleasure or profit; so I imagine that you are in the dark about this stuff as much as I was. But I guess it is really sticky.

So the pitcher in question puts a bit of it in the web of his glove, rubs the baseball against it and then delivers a slider that falls off the table by putting his index finger on the goop and turning the ball over. Hitter has no chance.

Cheating? Yes indeed! Scandalous? Maybe not so much.

Pete Alonso, the Mets slugger, when asked about it, said that he was in favor of anything that gave the pitchers more control. Seems like he is not in favor of getting a 95 mph, out of control, fastball in the face the way one of his teammates did. Coward! These youngsters just haven’t got the right stuff!

So there you have it: the latest installment of The Baseball Soaps. Stay tuned, because there will certainly be a new episode any time now.

 

Millerton resident Theodore Kneeland is a former teacher and coach — and athlete.

Latest News

Back to school
Photo by Leila Hawken

AMENIA — The first day of school on Thursday, Sept. 4, at Webutuck Elementary School went smoothly, with teachers enthusiastically greeting the eager young students disembarking from buses. Excitement was measurable, with only a few tears from parents, but school began anyway.


Keep ReadingShow less
Millerton’s Demitasse shutters Main Street storefront, goes digital

Demitasse owner Hayden McIntosh Geer said she is excited by the shift to online sales.

Photo by Hayden McIntosh Geer

MILLERTON — Some might have argued that launching an in-person retail business during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic wasn’t advisable. But against all odds, Demitasse in Millerton managed not only to build a thriving, mission-based brand in a small storefront on Main Street, it developed a loyal customer base and provided a welcoming space for visitors. Last week, Demitasse announced it is closing-up shop and moving fully online.

“We are excited,” said owner Hayden McIntosh Geer, who opened Demitasse with her husband, Richard, in 2020. “Though we will miss our customers and the camaraderie on Main Street, it feels right and there was no second guessing.”

Keep ReadingShow less
New Millerton police cruisers arrive to replace fire-ravaged vehicles

Millerton Police Chief Joseph Olenik shows off the new gear. Brand new police cruisers arrived last week.

Photo by Aly Morrissey

MILLERTON — The Millerton Police Department has received two new patrol cars to replace vehicles destroyed in the February 2025 fire at the Village Water and Highway Department.

The new Ford Interceptors are custom-built for law enforcement. “They’re more rugged than a Ford Explorer,” said Millerton Police Chief Joseph Olenik, noting the all-wheel drive, heavy-duty suspension and larger tires and engine. “They call it the ‘Police Package.’”

Keep ReadingShow less
Fashion Feeds on track to raise $100,000 for Food of Life Food Pantry

Erin Rollins of Millbrook in the Fashion Feed booth, open year round, at the Millbrook Antiques Mall. All proceeds from Fashion Feeds go to the Food of Life Pantry.

Photo by Aly Morrissey

MILLBROOK – In a time when optimism and unity can feel elusive, sometimes a walk down Franklin Avenue is enough to feed the soul. With Millbrook Community Day just around the corner, one highlight will be Fashion Feeds, a community effort led by Millbrook native Erin Rollins, whose mission is to fight local hunger.

The concept is simple. People donate new or gently used designer fashion, which is sold at affordable prices, and all proceeds benefit The Food of Life/Comida de Vida Pantry at St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Amenia.

Keep ReadingShow less