We should all feel safe in our own homes

There are some reading this who have experienced violence in their homes in the past year. For some of us, it may have been the first time such ugly and unwelcome treatment surfaced in what should be a place of refuge. But the repercussions of the life- and society-changing pandemic still affect all our lives, no matter what we may  try to gloss over out of self preservation.

Would it be better to be able to go back to pre-COVID life? Few of us at the time, say 2019,  would have said, “This moment is the ideal, to which we will always ever after strive.” Yet that happened.

So we try to make the best of what we do have. And bear in mind that we may look back on this time, too, and hold it up as the new ideal for one reason or another. But for those who have found too much too overwhelming to handle and resorted to abusing their closest companions, and those who are their targets, it’s important to remember there is help available to deal with it. One such place is Women’s Support Services (WSS) in Lakeville.

Speaking with WSS Executive Director Betsey Mauro recently, she was clear about the fact that the reasons for patterns of abuse in any home are complicated, and that it’s hard to point to one cause for it. There are behaviors and patterns of power and control that people use to harm a partner, and cause and effect aren’t that easy to pin down.

But, over the pandemic shutdown phase, she said, it was less safe for people to reach out to hotlines for help. The level of violence escalated, there was much more stress, but people waited longer to reach out for help because they were often in constant proximity to their abuser.

Mauro said the client need has gone up about 30% in the past two years. Their shelter, and all those across the state, are busy and full. The shelters all cooperate to be sure clients are cared for, however. “It’s an honor for us to do this work,” she said. “We couldn’t do it without the support of the community.”

WSS is in its 40th year serving area communities, and Mauro said they are here because of a commitment, their own and that of regional residents, to a healthier community. Abuse cuts across all lines. “It’s often hidden,” she said. But it’s likely that each of us has been affected in one way or another by violence in the home.

Mauro was also clear that donations are crucial to their being able to continue their work. Community support and encouragement keep them going. Their mission is to build trust with their clients, to make sure that traumatized people feel safe. “We want to support them and want them to succeed.”

This is Domestic Violence Awareness month, so a time to consider healthier approaches to our own relationships and to support those who have continuing challenges that may cause irreparable damage.

Women’s Support Services

Key Statistics and Services

July 2021 to June 2022

Provided support services to 821 clients, 412 of whom were new clients. This is a nearly 30% increase in two years.

The composition of new clients includes 381 adults and 31 children, 297 female, 111 male clients and 4 clients who chose ‘Other.’

Responded to 1485 hotline crisis requests ­— a nearly 65% increase in two years.

Provided emergency shelter to 20 people for a total of 2,135 nights of shelter. This included 11 women, 2 men, and 7 children. Provided criminal and civil court advocacy and support to 670 victims of family violence — a 44% increase over two years. Conducted 194 prevention workshops to children and teens in area schools.

Provided criminal and civil court advocacy and support to 670 victims of family violence — a 44% increase over two years.

Conducted 194 prevention workshops to children and teens in area schools.

Geographic breakdown of new clients:

134 our six towns

220 New Milford, Roxbury, Bridgewater (court clients)

15 Out of State (NY border)

43 Other Connecticut

Latest News

North East Town Board approves truck loan, hears school funding concerns

North East Town Hall on Maple Avenue in Millerton.

Photo by Nathan Miller

MILLERTON — North East Town Board members approved a $168,000 loan from the Bank of Millbrook to purchase a new truck for the town’s Highway Department at their regular meeting Thursday, Dec. 11.

The meeting marked the board’s final session of the year.

Keep ReadingShow less
Village of Millerton sets stage for zoning overhaul, aims for transparency

Millerton Village Hall, where the Zoning Board of Appeals has begun laying the groundwork for a zoning overhaul aimed at modernizing the village’s code.

Nathan Miller

MILLERTON – The village Zoning Board of Appeals (ZBA) met on Tuesday night to begin laying the groundwork for a long-anticipated update to its zoning code — a process officials say is necessary to replace regulations they repeatedly describe as “outdated.” The discussion comes as the Town of North East faces public scrutiny over its November release of a years-long zoning rewrite of its commercial district.

To better understand the rewrite process — and avoid replicating challenges the town has encountered — ZBA Chair Kelly Kilmer invited two members of the North East Zoning Review Committee (ZRC), Edie Greenwood and David Sherman, to share insight.

Keep ReadingShow less
Snowstorm forces Millerton, Amenia and Pine Plains to reschedule board meetings
Amenia Town Hall
By Nathan Miller

Correction: The Amenia Planning Board does not have another meeting scheduled prior to the end of the year. It is currently unclear if the board will schedule another meeting to make up for the cancelled meeting on Dec. 10.

A snowstorm that dropped about an inch across northeast Dutchess County forced the cancellation of municipal board meetings in the Village of Millerton, Amenia and Pine Plains on Wednesday, Dec. 10.

Keep ReadingShow less
Our visit to Hancock Shaker Village

The Stone Round Barn at Hancock Shaker Village.

Jennifer Almquist

My husband Tom, our friend Jim Jasper and I spent the day at Hancock Shaker Village in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. A cold, blustery wind shook the limbs of an ancient apple tree still clinging to golden fruit. Spitting sleet drove us inside for warmth, and the lusty smells of manure from the goats, sheep, pigs and chickens in the Stone Round Barn filled our senses. We traveled back in time down sparse hallways lined with endless peg racks. The winter light was slightly crooked through the panes of old glass. The quiet life of the Shakers is preserved simply.

Shakers referred to their farm as the City of Peace.Jennifer Almquist

Keep ReadingShow less