Managing holiday stress

The holidays are a source of joy for some, and challenge for others.
For many of us, the holidays are simultaneously filled with the promise of making new memories, and rife with recollections of the past. The emotional and physical energies often expended during this season can leave us exhausted. Top stressors reported by people are: financial, travel, hosting, overloaded or empty schedules, grief and loss, and strained relationships.
Challenges
Feelings: In managing holiday stress, the first thing that mental health providers recommend is to acknowledge feelings. Any and all of our feelings are acceptable, both positive and negative.
Allow the negative feelings to pass when ready, and notice the positive ones with appreciation.
Grief and loss: A sense of loss can stem from many reasons. For some it might be the first holiday after the death of a loved one. For others, divorce can cause transition stress in addition to new and positive experiences and relationships. Perhaps some are struggling with health challenges.
Others are finding it hard to celebrate when larger world conflict and loss is happening.
Financial stress: With many people facing economic challenges, the pressure to buy gifts or produce elaborate meals can seem daunting. Media advertising and marketing content is not always helpful. Town food banks and agencies can be helpful with assistance. In some areas like the Northwest Corner, towns have social workers to help connect people with services. For people of all socioeconomic, groups it might be important to reframe the holidays as a time to connect with others versus overspending.
Relationships: Strained relationships can be a source of pain during the holiday season.
Although it might be tempting for some to air grievances or resolve conflict, it is likely better to put these types of agendas aside during this time. Focusing on positive qualities in one’s self and others has better outcomes and produces a sense of grace/acceptance.
Overload and isolation: For some, it might be tempting to overfill their holiday calenders with events and travel, which can often lead to burnout. For others, the impulse might be the opposite, and can create loneliness. The ideal is to strive toward balance.
Setting limits with “no” to an invite might be equally balancing as accepting an offer that could be nourishing. Self care means knowing when to look outward for connection and when to spend more quiet time with one’s self or an intimate few.
When this season becomes too busy, arranging for down or quiet time can help us to recharge. Stress-free, screen-free time can allow us to drop into our “rest and digest” parasympathetic nervous system, rejuvenating the body and brain.
Techniques
In coping with holiday stress, there are a variety techniques that have proven to be helpful. It can be challenging to regulate one’s emotions and behaviors during this time.
Mindfulness and meditation: Even brief mindfulness meditations with breathing can be helpful. The following link to a meditation on Insight Timer is an example of the many apps and forms of online support available, some of them free: insighttimer.com/terrijenkins/guided-meditations/holiday-de-stress-with-mindfulness-of-now.
Yoga might also be helpful, whether it be online or in person locally at a practice such as Be Well Community Yoga in North Canaan.
Lowered expectations: Lowering expectations of those around us, and of the holiday experience itself, is beneficial. None of us are going to be on our best behavior at all times. A forgiving sense of humor, different from sarcasm or barbed commentary, about one’s self and others can be fun and emotionally freeing.
Humor, as they say, “is often the best medicine.” When in doubt, “put on” comedy, whether it be through humorous personal recollections/observations or entertainment media.
Faith: Whether it be religious or spiritual, faith can provide a spiritual rudder when we are challenged and help us to navigate better choices once we are not “operating” from a place of fear.
Empathy and giving back: Often, we find meaning and healing in service to others. Helping a friend or neighbor, making a financial donation, or volunteering for a community agency are all powerful ways to make a positive impact. As we all know, the holidays can spark feelings of generosity.
Boundaries: In the rush to celebrate the season, we can all get overwhelmed by an innundation of invitations to create, donate and celebrate. Evaluating when to say yes and when to say no can be part of healthy self preservation.
Being mindful of our own and other people’s particular vulnerabilities, whether they be physical or emotional, is especially important during the holidays.
Perhaps seating, timing, location and other concerns need to be thought out the best we can in order to accommodate different personalities and generations. Thoughtful and active listening can be more rewarding than any heated debate or conflict that may come up.
In some settings there is an agreement to stay away from divisive topics during gatherings. Others may not want to take this more structured approach. In these cases, taking space for a time when needed and then rejoining activities might be helpful.
Self care: Self care can mean many things: sleep, exercise, fresh air and vitamin D.
Abstaining from or limiting alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and excess sugar intake can reduce stress and protect the immune system. Overall, balancing care of one’s self and others seems to be a key element in creating a positive holiday experience.
Isabelle Clark Foster and Margo Davis are licensed independent clinical social workers. Davis publishes at goingforwhole.substack.com and offers a free meditation group every Friday at 4:30 p.m. at the Bushnell-Sage Library in Sheffield, Massachusetts.
Long-term town employees were recognized at the Town Board meeting on Thursday, June 12. Honorees pictured with Town Supervisor Leo Blackman, were Judy Carlson, Office Manager at the Town Garage, center, for her 35 years of service to the town and Megan Chamberlin, current Highway Superintendent, for 20 years.
AMENIA — Acknowledging the many years of service accumulated by town employees, the Town Board paused to honor that service at its meeting on Thursday, June 12.
“Thank you for making a difference,” said Town Supervisor Leo Blackman in recognizing Judy Carlson, Office Manager at the town garage, for her 35 years of service.
“Megan’s job is not an easy one,” Blackman said, honoring Megan Chamberlin, current Highway Superintendent who has served the town for 20 years.
Also among those honored was Town Clerk Dawn Marie Klingner for 20 years of service as Court Clerk.
Maureen Moore, Court Clerk, was also honored in absentia for her 20 years of town service.
In anticipation of the celebration of the 250th anniversary of the start of the American Revolution in 2026, new historic markers are appearing at each of the local cemeteries where Revolutionary War veterans are buried. Unveiling the new marker at Amenia Union Cemetery on Saturday, June 21, were left to right, Town Historian Betsy Strauss, Jim Middlebrook representing the regional chapter of the Sons of the American Revolution, and Gail Seymour, President of the Union Cemetery Association.
AMENIA — One by one, new historic markers are appearing at local cemeteries where Revolutionary War dead are buried. On Saturday, June 21, community members gathered to see a new marker unveiled at Amenia Union Cemetery on Leedsville Road.
A tent provided welcome shade for the attendees and refreshments as about 30 residents gathered for the unveiling and to share stories of local history with one another.
As with the first historic market installation at the Old Amenia Burying Ground, held in April, Amenia Union Cemetery graves of Revolutionary War veterans had been marked with American flags in advance.
Jim Middlebrook, representing the Columbia Mid-Hudson chapter of the Sons of the American Revolution, attended along with other members of his chapter. Speaking before the unveiling, Middlebrook said that the historic marker project had begun in August 2024, and included a detailed process to certify the names on the graves.
Middlebrook described the work of the William C. Pomeroy Foundation of Syracuse whose mission is to promote “pride of place” by providing grants in support of installing historic markers and plaques nationwide to honor patriots for their service. Active now in seven or eight states, Middlebrook said, the foundation will soon add Connecticut and Massachusetts to the list.
The new Amenia Union marker honors “at least five veterans of the American Revolution interred between 1787 and 1810,” although Town Historian Betsy Strauss lists six veterans buried in the cemetery. The sixth, Gerhard Winegar, whose burial had been in 1781 could not fully satisfy the certification standards.
Strauss provided the following listing of six names:
Col. Colbe Chamberlain, 1739-1796
Capt. William Chamberlain, 1745-1810
Lieut. Samuel Snyder, 1712-1808
Gerhard Winegar, 1750-1781
Ensign Henry Winegar, 1723-1787
Capt. William Young, 1747-1806
Bee Bee the clown, face painters and a community wide scavenger hunt are among the activities planned for the Millerton Street Fair in Downtown Millerton on Saturday, June 28.
MILLERTON — The Millerton News, in partnership with the North East Community Center (NECC) and the Millerton Business Alliance, is hosting its first Street Fair on Saturday in a celebration of the town.
Rain or shine from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m, the fair will bring together local nonprofits and businesses, with live music, entertainment, kids’ activities, local eats, and family fun in Veterans Park, in front of the Millerton Inn, and beyond.
“The Millerton Street Fair will celebrate everything we love about this community — its spirit, its dedication to service and its creative energy,” said James Clark, publisher and CEO of The Millerton News.
Local nonprofits will showcase their work and impact, including Climate Smart Millerton, Eddie Collins Memorial Park, North East Historical Society, Townscape, Tri-Corner FEED, Village of Millerton, and the Webutuck Elementary School.Participating businesses include Bes, Little Red Bird Studio, NBT, The Elephant’s Tusk, and many more.Local retail and dining establishments will be open with special promotions. NECC’s Farmer’s Market will run during the event.
Among the planned festivities are live music from John Stey and the Resilience Brass Band, performances from Bee Bee the Clown, face painting by students from Webutuck High School, and a community-wide scavenger hunt for kids.Other kids’ activities include egg and spoon races, and a “touch-a-truck” open house at the firehouse.The Irondale Schoolhouse will be hosting a special exhibit, and the North East-Millerton Library will be offering signups for the Summer Reading Program, a science show from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m., lawn games, and a cookie cook-off.
For more information, go to millertonnews.com/street-fair.
The Nine Partners Road Quaker Meetinghouse, built in 1780, will be the site of two summer lectures sponsored by the Millbrook Historical Society.
MILLBROOK — Long in the planning, the Millbrook Historical Society has announced that it is sponsoring two lectures in observance of the 250th anniversary of the American Revolution. Both lectures relating to Quaker history are to be held in the historic Quaker Meeting House on Nine Partners Road.
For the first talk, scheduled for Sunday, June 29, at 2 p.m., the historical society has invited Sarah Gronningsater, Professor of History at the University of Pennsylvania, to talk on “Quakers, Anti-slavery, and the American Revolution.” The topic will explore the role that New York’s Quakers, especially in the Hudson Valley, played in the rise of the anti-slavery movement that followed the American Revolution.
The second talk, scheduled for Sunday, July 27, at 2 p.m., invites Carl Lounsbury of the College of William and Mary and Colonial Williamsburg to speak on the architecture of the Nine Partners Meetinghouse. His talk is titled, “Nine Partners Meetinghouse Plan: A New Form in the Hudson Valley.” Expert in early American architecture, Lounsbury’s talk will compare Nine Partners with other later houses of worship in New York and New England.
Both lecture events will be held at the 1780 brick Nine Partners Quaker Meetinghouse in Millbrook. An earlier meetinghouse on the site had burned. The building has remained largely unchanged since the 18th century.
Given the age of the structure, handicapped access is limited and there are no rest room facilities.
Visitors should enter through the cemetery gate entrance.
The lectures are free and open to all, supported by a grant from the county and offered as part of Dutchess County’s participation in the nation’s 250th anniversary commemoration.