Managing holiday stress



The holidays are a source of joy for some, and challenge for others.
For many of us, the holidays are simultaneously filled with the promise of making new memories, and rife with recollections of the past. The emotional and physical energies often expended during this season can leave us exhausted. Top stressors reported by people are: financial, travel, hosting, overloaded or empty schedules, grief and loss, and strained relationships.
Challenges
Feelings: In managing holiday stress, the first thing that mental health providers recommend is to acknowledge feelings. Any and all of our feelings are acceptable, both positive and negative.
Allow the negative feelings to pass when ready, and notice the positive ones with appreciation.
Grief and loss: A sense of loss can stem from many reasons. For some it might be the first holiday after the death of a loved one. For others, divorce can cause transition stress in addition to new and positive experiences and relationships. Perhaps some are struggling with health challenges.
Others are finding it hard to celebrate when larger world conflict and loss is happening.
Financial stress: With many people facing economic challenges, the pressure to buy gifts or produce elaborate meals can seem daunting. Media advertising and marketing content is not always helpful. Town food banks and agencies can be helpful with assistance. In some areas like the Northwest Corner, towns have social workers to help connect people with services. For people of all socioeconomic, groups it might be important to reframe the holidays as a time to connect with others versus overspending.
Relationships: Strained relationships can be a source of pain during the holiday season.
Although it might be tempting for some to air grievances or resolve conflict, it is likely better to put these types of agendas aside during this time. Focusing on positive qualities in one’s self and others has better outcomes and produces a sense of grace/acceptance.
Overload and isolation: For some, it might be tempting to overfill their holiday calenders with events and travel, which can often lead to burnout. For others, the impulse might be the opposite, and can create loneliness. The ideal is to strive toward balance.
Setting limits with “no” to an invite might be equally balancing as accepting an offer that could be nourishing. Self care means knowing when to look outward for connection and when to spend more quiet time with one’s self or an intimate few.
When this season becomes too busy, arranging for down or quiet time can help us to recharge. Stress-free, screen-free time can allow us to drop into our “rest and digest” parasympathetic nervous system, rejuvenating the body and brain.
Techniques
In coping with holiday stress, there are a variety techniques that have proven to be helpful. It can be challenging to regulate one’s emotions and behaviors during this time.
Mindfulness and meditation: Even brief mindfulness meditations with breathing can be helpful. The following link to a meditation on Insight Timer is an example of the many apps and forms of online support available, some of them free: insighttimer.com/terrijenkins/guided-meditations/holiday-de-stress-with-mindfulness-of-now.
Yoga might also be helpful, whether it be online or in person locally at a practice such as Be Well Community Yoga in North Canaan.
Lowered expectations: Lowering expectations of those around us, and of the holiday experience itself, is beneficial. None of us are going to be on our best behavior at all times. A forgiving sense of humor, different from sarcasm or barbed commentary, about one’s self and others can be fun and emotionally freeing.
Humor, as they say, “is often the best medicine.” When in doubt, “put on” comedy, whether it be through humorous personal recollections/observations or entertainment media.
Faith: Whether it be religious or spiritual, faith can provide a spiritual rudder when we are challenged and help us to navigate better choices once we are not “operating” from a place of fear.
Empathy and giving back: Often, we find meaning and healing in service to others. Helping a friend or neighbor, making a financial donation, or volunteering for a community agency are all powerful ways to make a positive impact. As we all know, the holidays can spark feelings of generosity.
Boundaries: In the rush to celebrate the season, we can all get overwhelmed by an innundation of invitations to create, donate and celebrate. Evaluating when to say yes and when to say no can be part of healthy self preservation.
Being mindful of our own and other people’s particular vulnerabilities, whether they be physical or emotional, is especially important during the holidays.
Perhaps seating, timing, location and other concerns need to be thought out the best we can in order to accommodate different personalities and generations. Thoughtful and active listening can be more rewarding than any heated debate or conflict that may come up.
In some settings there is an agreement to stay away from divisive topics during gatherings. Others may not want to take this more structured approach. In these cases, taking space for a time when needed and then rejoining activities might be helpful.
Self care: Self care can mean many things: sleep, exercise, fresh air and vitamin D.
Abstaining from or limiting alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and excess sugar intake can reduce stress and protect the immune system. Overall, balancing care of one’s self and others seems to be a key element in creating a positive holiday experience.
Isabelle Clark Foster and Margo Davis are licensed independent clinical social workers. Davis publishes at goingforwhole.substack.com and offers a free meditation group every Friday at 4:30 p.m. at the Bushnell-Sage Library in Sheffield, Massachusetts.
D.H. Callahan
On Thursday, June 25, a collection of eager art enthusiasts gathered at Olana State Historic Estate in Hudson to kick off the seventh annual Upstate Art Weekend (UAW).
Helen Toomer, founder, was joined by sculptors Ellen Harvey, Jean Shin and Gabriela Salazar to discuss their work and the legacy of painter Frederic Church. Church, whose 200th birthday is being celebrated this year, is widely credited as one of the founding members of the Hudson River School of painting. The discussion took place at Olana, Church’s grand estate, where the three artists’ installations are on view.
Church’s status as an early environmentalist was mentioned repeatedly during the conversation. Shin’s sculpture “Fallen,” which graced the lawn next to the estate’s main house during last year’s event, featured a fallen hemlock tree trunk planted by Church over 150 years earlier which had been wrapped in tanned leather. She described the work as a direct reference to Church’s experience witnessing the eradication of the area’s hemlocks as the leather tanning industry wreaked havoc on the natural environment of the Hudson Valley in the mid-19th century.
The relationship between art and the environment wasn’t isolated at Church’s former home. Instead, it seemed to be found all over UAW.
Now in its seventh year, UAW works to take the art world out of the city. At its best, the weekend gives artists and curators the opportunity to interact with unfamiliar environments. Just as often, however, it serves as a literal escape, allowing New York City galleries to bring works to pop-up spaces assembled for the express purpose of displaying fine art. The “Loading…” group show in Hudson did just this.
Transplanting six New York City galleries into an intimate event space, “Loading…” featured a wide variety of artists from around the globe. Sheroanawe Hakihiiwe, an Indigenous artist from Venezuela, takes ancient practices and translates his observations of the Amazon into minimalist works. Michael Assif’s “Plant a Weed” highlights the human impact on a natural landscape while feeling like a marshmallow dream. And Margaret Curtis’ “ ‘S ” uses the backdrop of a Hudson River School-style sunset to highlight the chaos of today’s state of the American dream.
The flip side of this art-world field trip is the variety of makeshift galleries in the garages and barns of the Hudson Valley. Places like Ugly Mud Studios and Ten Barn Farm, both in Ghent, along with Foxtrot Farm and Flowers in Stanfordville, housed unexpectedly refined exhibitions. These venues all integrate sustainable practices into their business: Foxtrot is a regenerative flower farm, Ugly Mud uses locally sourced clay, and Ten Barn Farm operates a farm-to-table restaurant called The Kitchen.
But at the end of the day, UAW is about getting the art world into the wild. So it was no surprise to see a panoply of eye-catching outfits, and out-of-this-world works at Art Omi, the sculpture and architecture park in Ghent, on Saturday evening. Complete with avant-garde ambient operatic metal, the Summer Kickoff event served as a testament to the continued growth of UAW. It seems the seeds that Toomer and her collaborators planted seven years ago are flourishing, with no signs of slowing down.
Jennifer Almquist
Benjamin Reynaert
Creating a home is, at its core, an act of love.
— Benjamin Reynaert
Benjamin Reynaert is focused on creative direction and interior styling. He is market director at Elle Décor, a design consultant, and author of “The Layered Home: Inspiration for Crafting Cozy, Collected Rooms,” published this year by Clarkson Potter. He co-founded Ticking Tent, a market featuring antiques, luxury items and vintage treasures. The biannual event is held in New Preston, Connecticut, and Bedford, New York.
Adopted from South Korea at 3 months old, Reynaert grew up in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. He always knew he wanted to be an artist. “I just loved drawing. I loved making things with clay,” he said. “Remembering what it felt like to be creative as kids and applying that to our creativity as adults is essential.” A graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD), where he earned a BFA and a degree in architecture, Reynaert also studied bookbinding in Rome. His attention to detail and aesthetic sense reflect years of training and a finely tuned eye for objects. “Attending RISD nurtured my creativity and taught me how to problem-solve,” he said.
His career began at Martha Stewart Living. A contributor to Architectural Digest, Elle Decor, House Beautiful and Veranda, Reynaert has also served as style director at Domino. He has worked with Farrow & Ball, Chairish, Neiman Marcus, Sunbrella, Anthropologie, Gap, Bunny Williams Home and Stella Artois. He shares his work on Instagram via @aspoonfulofbenjamin.
“I’ve been fortunate to travel the country and abroad for Elle Decor, covering design fairs and trade shows like Deco Off in Paris, London Design Week in England, Cersaie Tile Show in Bologna, Italy, High Point in North Carolina and the Kitchen and Bath Industry Show in Las Vegas,” he said. He is drawn to unique objects and textiles. “As a market editor, the pieces that stick with me are not the newest. They are the ones I stumble upon and imagine living with.”
Reynaert is also co-founder of Ticking Tent with Christina Juarez, president of Christina Juarez & Company. The biannual event has become a destination for collectors and designers seeking curated antiques and design objects.
“I met Ben about 15 years ago when he was a young editor and design communications strategist,” Juarez said. “We immediately clicked. I was impressed by his multidisciplinary creative talents — styling, writing, vision and impeccable eye — and his passion for the thrill of the hunt. I could not ask for a better partner and friend — my brother from another mother — and a yin to my yang. Two creatively minded people with a love of old and new beautiful things, and the ability to curate what the luxury shopper doesn’t know they need and most definitely wants.”
Reynaert described the most recent Ticking Tent as the largest yet. “We hosted over 2,000 guests and transacted our most sales to date with 75 vendors,” he said. “The most exciting part is seeing friends and watching new connections being made. I’m excited for the next event, Nov. 13–14, in Bedford, N.Y.”

For Reynaert, objects are defined as much by narrative as by design. “An object is about the story — whether it’s passed down in your family, something you worked hard for, bought on a trip, or a friend gave you,” he said. “With that added narrative, it doesn’t need to be the most aesthetically pleasing thing. The memory attached makes it beautiful. I like the idea of simple, seemingly insignificant items having a ton of meaning. Treat a thrift store painting as you would a Picasso.”
Greg Domres and Peter Nichols’ residence in Litchfield, which they share with their miniature schnauzer, Bunny, is one of 15 homes featured in Reynaert’s book, “The Layered Home.” The couple hosted a book signing at George Home in Washington Depot. “I first met Ben at press events during my time at John Derian,” Domres said. “We became friends and stayed connected professionally over the years.”
The book spans interiors from Eric Goujou’s shop The Wolf Tile in Paris’ 5th arrondissement to textile designer Schuyler Samperton’s Litchfield farmhouse. “Sharing the stories of talented, stylish people I’ve met during my tenure in magazines has been a privilege,” Reynaert said. “The most inspiring interiors are layered — with personality, patina and the poetry of a life lived. This book is my love letter to that idea.”
Reynaert said he would like to travel to Japan and Australia and hopes to develop his own product line in the future. “Balancing work and life is a challenge,” he said. He spends downtime with his husband, Luis Illades, in Delaware, where they are renovating a Victorian home.
“I feel incredibly fortunate to blend my work and my life in the home I share,” he said. “Creating a home is, at its core, an act of love.”

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Natalia Zukerman
Mickalene Thomas and Delano Dunn at Wassaic Project.
Before “Echoes in the Margin,” Delano Dunn’s new solo exhibition at Troutbeck in Amenia opened, the artist sat down with curator and artist Mickalene Thomas for a conversation at the Wassaic Project on Wednesday, June 24. Their wide-ranging discussion offered an intimate look into Dunn’s practice while situating the work within broader questions of history, memory and representation.
Presented by the Wassaic Project, the exhibition brings Dunn’s richly layered paintings into conversation with Troutbeck itself, the historic estate long associated with artists, writers and civil rights leaders, including W.E.B. Du Bois, Langston Hughes and many more.
Thomas, an artist whose multidisciplinary practice spans painting, collage and installation, first met Dunn when she was his graduate adviser at the School of Visual Arts. “I think your work needs to be out there more,” she said, noting the urgency of this collection in the current socio-political moment.
Dunn’s layered collages often begin with an image unearthed from flea markets, used bookstores and forgotten archives.
“I go to secondhand shops, old bookstores, any place that looks like it has history in it,” he said.
Sometimes, he explained, an image becomes the centerpiece of a work. Other times it simply sparks an idea.
“There’ll be an idea that pops into my head. I’ll read something or hear music or a lyric, and then I’ll think, ‘I’ve got to find an image that matches that.’”
His color palette also carries its own history.
“I grew up in L.A. during the L.A. riots,” Dunn said. “I would sit on my porch as a kid. I was watching the neighborhood burn, but the sky was beautiful.”
He still paints with those saturated blues, reds and oranges.
“Color can transport you. Color can make you feel safe, or happy or scared,” he said. “Those colors made me feel safe.”
For Dunn, Troutbeck’s own layered history became an active part of the work. Learning that the estate had hosted W.E.B. Du Bois, Langston Hughes, Ida B. Wells and generations of civil rights leaders informed his direction.
Dunn was given access to Troutbeck’s archives and found handwritten notes by Langston Hughes, and writings by Du Bois and Wells that found their way into the exhibition.
“There was a letter between Amy Spingarn and Martin Luther King Jr.,” Dunn recalled. “To be in its presence and hold it... you don’t see communication like that every day.”

Much of Dunn’s work invites viewers to dig deeper into history rather than accept simplified narratives.
“I want them to look at it and go, ‘Wow, this is really amazing and interesting and colorful and beautiful,’” he said. “And then I want them to be terrified shortly after that.” He accomplishes this through bold, colorful, and often playful compositions that draw the viewer in before revealing their more complex historical underpinnings. As Thomas wrote, “Dunn’s compositions invite viewers to sit within that tension and take it in.” That impulse toward deeper investigation extends to Dunn’s own children, who are often his first audience.
“They’ll ask, ‘What is this? Why does this person look the way they look? Why are you using that color? Why are you using glitter?’”
Those conversations, he said, become lessons in looking beyond appearances.
Thomas framed collage itself as a kind of storytelling practice —“the gathering of information… piecing things together”—and praised Dunn’s ability to translate research, memory and visual pleasure into a unified language. She also underscored the importance of creative joy in the process. “If you’re going to your studio and you’re not having fun,” she said, “you shouldn’t be doing it.”
Dunn said one of the biggest misconceptions he hopes to challenge is the idea that there is a monolithic Black experience.
“There are so many different perspectives out there. This is just one of them,” he said. In the same breath, Dunn said he adopts the label “Black artist” because “it would make my Grandpa proud.”
The nearly two-hour conversation shifted seamlessly between humor and history, studio practice and social commentary, ultimately returning to what both artists believe art can accomplish: encouraging curiosity, complicating familiar stories and inviting viewers to question what they see.
As Dunn put it, “History is so much more nuanced than what we’re taught. There’s so much more going on below the surface.”
D.H. Callahan
Scott Siegler at his home in Sharon.
Scott Siegler is bored of success stories. But Scott Siegler has had the kind of successful Hollywood career that people write books about.
Before he was 30, he’d earned three degrees. Before he moved to Hollywood, he’d already won an Emmy for one of the nine documentaries he directed and produced. Before he helped launch Netscape, bringing the Internet to the public, he’d already started his own Hollywood studio.
Siegler’s had a lot of success in his life, but he’s not going to talk about it unless you ask him directly. He’ll reluctantly tell you about defending “Married… With Children,” the longest-running live-action sitcom ever aired on Fox, when groups of concerned parents tried to get it banned from Television. But bring up a real struggle, like the time he led the board of Pandora through 25 unprofitable quarters, and he lights up. The challenges thrill him more than the successes ever could.
Now, after spending a lifetime rising to business challenges of every stripe, he’s settling into a more creative role. According to his longtime friend David Chase, creator of “The Sopranos,” it’s about time. Chase, who wrote the foreword to Siegler’s debut book, “Mobsters in the Mansion,” reminisces about meeting Siegler over 40 years ago. While Siegler had all the business sense of a top executive, Chase could tell that there was something wilder and more mischievous than the average Hollywood suit.
That mischief springs to life on the pages of“Mobsters in the Mansion.” The loosely autobiographical collection dives into the humor of hubris and failure. The stories unfold chronologically, from adolescence to midlife, but the characters don’t adhere to any timeline. Instead, Siegler uses new people and perspectives to personify the stories he tells, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the emotional truth of the experiences rather than the particulars of one life.
Writing fictionalized stories based in reality freed Siegler from writing the truth. He believes the heart of the story is what matters more than the literal details. “It’s true,” he claimed during a conversation about his book, “but that doesn’t mean it actually happened.”
On Tuesday, July 7 at the Scoville Memorial Library in Salisbury, Siegler will appear in conversation with renowned journalist Brian Ross. Ross has won six Peabodys, six duPont-Columbia Awards and is the author of the New York Times bestseller, “The Madoff Chronicles.” His career in journalism — a profession that leaves little room for creative liberties — should provide an intriguing foil to Siegler’s relationship with the truth.
To register for the event, visit scovillelibrary.org
Millerton News
Crescendo, the Lakeville-based nonprofit specializing in early and rarely performed classical music, is taking a deep dive into the works of Johann Sebastian Bach this summer as artistic director, Christine Gevert, explores the genius of one of history’s greatest composers through a series of public masterclass workshops at Saint James Place in Great Barrington. More information at crescendomusic.org.

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