Millerton native Vemilo reflects on a unique life of authenticity

Millerton native Vemilo dresses in unapologetically bold fashions, including a flowing, curly wig that he never leaves the house without.
Photo by Aly Morrissey
Millerton native Vemilo dresses in unapologetically bold fashions, including a flowing, curly wig that he never leaves the house without.
MILLERTON — Vemilo walks into Irving Farm wearing a chic blazer over his shoulders, a red fedora, and his own signature scent called Vetreus, a woodsy blend that carries the air of high-end fashion.
A regular at the coffee shop, the baristas already know his order — lavender vanilla chai in his own mug. The order suits him. Everything about Vemilo is curated, intentional and unapologetically him.
“Being a young, Black, gay man in a small, white town, people often mistake me for being from the city, but I was born and raised here,” he said proudly. On Main Street, there’s no mistaking him. Vemilo’s runway-ready style makes him look as though he’s stepped straight out of Vogue or Rolling Stone.
Often clad in a long wig and high heels, Vemilo continually fields questions about gender. “I don’t identify as a trans woman, and I don’t want to be a woman, but I have this feminine energy that I’ve always wanted to nurture,” he said.
Vemilo’s grandmother Mary, who passed away one year ago, provided a safe space in which he could grow up, explore his identity and lead with what felt right — not what societal norms told him was appropriate. He credits his grandmother with helping him develop what would become a lifelong interest in fashion, music and performance art.
“She always made me put my pain into something creative,” he said, showing a ring bearing the letter “M,” joking that because she was allergic to jewelry he wears enough for the both of them.
This safe space allowed Vemilo to wrestle with questions about who he was and who he wanted to become. He reflected, “I always think about my younger self and how proud he would be.”
Vemilo traces his confidence back to childhood, when his grandmother filled his world with coloring books and Barbies, an early invitation to let creativity lead.
“I used to put on full performances in her living room, pretending I was on tour,” he laughs. “In my mind, I was in Argentina or Australia, doing an hour-and-forty-minute set with outfit changes, like I was in front of 100,000 people.”
The fake it ’til you make it mentality paid off. Today, Vemilo has performed for audiences of all sizes, from intimate private parties to established venues, energizing crowds and getting people on their feet.
For him, success isn’t measured by numbers but by connection. If he’s made people feel something, he’s done his job. At the end of each show, he wants everyone to walk away loving themselves a little more.
“I’m grateful I knew who I was at such a young age,” he said. “Now I want to pay it forward and help others find the confidence to be themselves.”
At times, Vemilo said he feels something that resembles survivor’s guilt. “I am able to walk down these Millererton streets in any heel height, wearing any garment, and feel loved, respected and taken care of in a way that not everyone is fortunate enough to have,” he said in between sips of chai.
He said his heart breaks for the countless people who lose their lives or get bullied for being different, and he counts his blessings that he has never encountered a hate crime or been judged by what he describes as a “very welcoming and supportive community.”
When it comes to personality, Vemilo never had a lightbulb moment. Backed by recent conversations with his preschool classmates, Vemilo said he always marched to the beat of his own drummer, though it never occurred to him as a child that he was different.
“I am myself. I just don’t know how not to be,” Vemilo said, adding, “I really feel for people who have to put on a mask.”
Now in his seventh year at The Watershed Center, a Millerton-based retreat and resource hub, Vemilo has found a role he loves that blends community engagement with creative practice. Most recently, he designed a musical experience for participants undergoing a self-healing journey. He admits that parts of the performance feel almost like teaching, a skill he has developed with age.
This year also marks a decade of his craft. If playing an original song over his high school loudspeaker for a boy he liked doesn’t count, Vemilo’s first true public performance was at a North East Community Center event ten years ago. Laughing at the high school memory, he said, “I had a lot of nerve back then! I still do now, but it’s more precise and more organized.” Vemilo takes pride in the many seasons of growth, both in life and in artistry, that have brought him to this moment.
Vemilo will be performing at the third annual Farm Block Party, presented by Rock Steady Farm and Catalyst Collaborative Farm in partnership with The Watershed Center, WILDSEED Community Farm & Healing Village, and Seasoned Delicious Foods on Saturday, Sept. 6.
PINE PLAINS — The Pine Plains FFA Ag Fair brought a crowd to the high school on Church Street Saturday, Oct. 11.
Kicking off the day was the annual tractor pull, attracting a dedicated crowd that sat in bleachers and folding chairs for hours watching Allison-Chalmers, International Harvesters and John Deeres compete to pull the heaviest weights.
A large collection of food was on offer from the Pine Plains FFA and each one of the classes in the Pine Plains Central School District. The football team was selling pickles.
Stissing Mountain High School Principal Christopher Boyd enjoyed a dip in the dunk tank to raise money for the Pine Plains teachers’ union-sponsored scholarship.
Stissing Mountain High School Principal Christopher Boyd got dunked several times during his half-hour shift in the dunk tank. Proceeds from the throws benefitted the Photo by Nathan Miller
The Rev. AJ Stack, center right, blessing a chicken at the pet blessing event at St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Amenia on Saturday, Oct. 4.
AMENIA — After serving more than five years as Priest-in-Charge of St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Amenia, the Rev. AJ Stack announced Tuesday, Oct. 7, that he will resign from the church and Food of Life/Comida de Vida pantry. His last day at his current post will be Sunday, Nov. 2, the conclusion of the Feast of All Saints.
The news was shared in two emails from Stack — one to Food of Life pantry subscribers and volunteers, and another to parish members.
“I write tonight with difficult news, and I wanted you to hear it from me as soon as the Vestry and I had a chance to meet,” he wrote. “After much prayer and careful discernment, I have submitted my resignation to the Vestry as Priest-in-Charge of St. Thomas, and therefore as Executive Director of Food of Life/Comida de Vida.”
Stack provided few details about his departure. At time of publication, he had not announced his next steps but said the decision was “not sudden,” and followed careful consideration over a period of months. He will not be leaving the area or the diocese.
An announcement about his path forward and the transition process is expected soon. In the meantime, Stack said he remains “fully present” at the church, and the food pantry services will continue without interruption.
Stack expressed gratitude for the community and the growth of St. Thomas’ mission during his tenure. “Together we have welcomed new neighbors and strengthened our outreach in meaningful ways,” he said. “I trust that good work will continue.”
He joined St. Thomas in March 2020 and guided the church and community through the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic. In a recent interview with The News about the food pantry, Stack estimated that it serves 653 individuals from 156 households each week, highlighting a significant contribution to the community.
The announcement was met with messages of reassurance from pantry volunteers. Jolly Stewart, a Vestry member and volunteer, wrote to the community with words of reassurance following the announcement. “I have complete faith in the strength of the parish of St. Thomas,” she wrote. “Our history shows how we have done this time and again, each time becoming more than what we were before. We can, without a doubt, do this now.”
MILLERTON — Ten candidates for office in the Nov. 4 election will answer questions from Dutchess County voters at a candidate forum on Friday, Oct. 24, at the Annex at the NorthEast-Millerton Library located at 28 Century Blvd.
The forum, which is sponsored by the library, will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m.
Candidates for local and county offices will answer questions from residents in attendance or from residents who have submitted questions in advance.
“We’re excited to keep the tradition of the candidate forum going,” said Rhiannon Leo-Jameson, director of the library. “Some years we can’t always get candidates together.”
This year’s forum will include:
Rachele Grieco Cole, a Democrat, and Chris Mayville, a Republican, who both are running uncontested for the North East Town Council;
Casey McCabe, a Democrat, also running uncontested for North East Justice.
Among Dutchess County races:
Tracy MacKenzie, who is endorsed by Republicans and Democrats, is running uncontested for Dutchess County Family Court Judge;
Kara Gerry, a Democrat, and Ned McLoughlin, a Republican, are in a contest for a Dutchess County Court judgeship currently held by McLoughlin.
Chris Drago, D-19, and Tonya Pulver, a Republican, are competing to represent Dutchess County’s19th District seat currently held by Drago.
Democratic incumbent Dan Aymar-Blair and Will Truitt, the Republican chair of the county legislature, are competing for the Dutchess County Comptroller position currently held by Aymar-Blair.
Leo-Jameson is encouraging questions for the candidates to be submitted in advance, which will not be revealed to candidates beforehand. Dutchess County residents may pose questions during the forum. To submit a question on the library’s website, go to the calendar at nemillertonlibrary.org and find the link in the Oct. 24calendar entries.
The format calls for opening statements from the candidates, followed by questions from residents, and candidates will be able to stay after the forum to answer questions personally.
The residence at 35 Amenia Union Road in Sharon was damaged after being struck by the Jeep Grand Cherokee around 3 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 11.
SHARON, Conn. — Emergency crews were called Saturday, Oct. 11, to Amenia Union Road in Sharon for a report of a vehicle into a building with entrapment.
Connecticut State Police reported Charles Teti, 62, was driving his Jeep Grand Cherokee northbound on Amenia Union Road when, for an unknown reason, the vehicle veered across the southbound land and exited the roadway where it struck a tree and home. Airbags deployed.
Teti and front seat passenger Aidan Cassidy, 63, sustained serious injuries. Teti was airlifted to Hartford Hospital and Cassidy was transported by ambulance to Sharon Hospital for treatment.
Back seat passenger Shea Cassidy-Teti, 17, sustained fatal injuries and was pronounced dead on scene. Cassidy-Teti was a senior at Kent School. He played on the football and tennis teams.
The residence that was struck is located at 35 Amenia Union Road.
The case remains under open investigation. Witnesses are asked to contact Trooper Lukas Gryniuk at Troop B 860-626-1821.