Schlock and awful: a vacation in bad movies

Stupid people in the jungle, Jess Franco-style. This group is dumber than average.
Provided
Stupid people in the jungle, Jess Franco-style. This group is dumber than average.
Owing to a bum hip my recent vacation week in the Catskills was light on fishing and heavy on cruddy films. I was joined in this endeavor by my nomadic attorney Thos. and Steve D., with whom I have been cracking juvenile jokes since the sixth grade.
We got through quite a stack of DVDs and even rejected a couple as being too awful, even for us.
Which brings us to one of the rules of schlock: It can be appalling but it can’t be boring.
Nightmare Beach (1989): The immortal John Saxon stars in the flick that answers the question “What Do You Miss the Least About the 1980s?” Feathered hair, high-waisted jeans and wet t-shirt contests are all good answers and feature heavily in this movie. But the real star is the soundtrack, particularly a ditty called “Mean ‘n’ Nasty.” The story: Biker gang raises hell in Florida beach town during spring break, and a masked biker is electrocuting people. Our hero is a college quarterback who lost the Orange Bowl and makes up for it by saving the plucky bartender girl. Meanwhile a lot of young women in various stages of undress cavort on the beach. Crispy critters. Gratuitous nekkidity. Unconvincing bikers. John Saxon looking like he’s about to fire his agent. And relentless, horrible, generic 80s rock throughout.
Stupid people in the jungle, Jess Franco-style. This group is dumber than average.Provided
Diamonds of Kilimindjaro (1983): From the prolific and immensely untalented Jess Franco comes this tale of Stupid People in the Jungle. See, a plane crashes in Africa and the only survivors are a Scottish guy and his granddaughter. He retreats to a hut and plays the bagpipes for 20 years while she grows up to be the local goddess. And this completely satisfactory state of affairs is rudely interrupted by a team of adventurers, some of whom want to find the girl, some want to find her and leave her so they can collect the inheritance, and some of them are there because Franco realized he was about 30 minutes short on the running time. We’ve got fun with machetes. Gratuitous snakes. Gratuitous spears. Gratuitous stock footage crocodile vs. nekkid lady in lake (shown twice, once with dubbed sound and once in pure silence). Gratuitous bagpipe music, actual bagpipes not shown. Starring the immortal Katja Bienert, wearing nothing but a loincloth and a pleasant expression. Plus “Kilimindjaro” spelled with a “d.” Outstanding.
Alien Outlaw (1986): Hicktastic zombie flick featuring an elderly Lash Larue sounding like he gargles with Thunderbird to start the day and the lissome Kari Anderson as a modern-day Annie Oakley. The story: Alien spaceship comes to the sticks, aliens hide in medium-sized creek where they attack one idiot successfully but miss the other idiot. Meanwhile gun gal Jessi Jamison is trying to get her career back on track. The aliens learn fast because they can twirl their six-shooters. Lots of gratuitous nekkidity, not all of it welcome. (Unfortunately we’re looking at you, Lash Larue.) Bad fishing. Good shooting. Horses. Mumbling. Jessi’s legs. Extended meditation on the ins and outs of the motel business. Highlight: A bargain-basement Walter Cronkite in a canoe tells a cop to “suck worms.”
The aliens learn to use Earth-based weaponry, with fair-to-middling results.Provided
Zoltan: Hound of Dracula (1977): This flick was the outstanding find of this fall’s schlockfest.
Soviet soldiers accidentally open up a tomb belonging to a cadet branch of the Dracula family, and in the confusion the Dracula servant (played by Reggie Nalder, who was the assassin in the 1956 version of “The Man Who Knew Too Much”) and a vampire dog named Zoltan are revived and set off to find the last Dracula, who’s named Michael and lives in Los Angeles. Vampire dogs. Vampire puppy. Gratuitous RV parking. Gratuitous driving of rental cars. The highlight is when Zoltan gets Mike Dracula and the Romanian cop (played by Jose Ferrer) holed up in a cabin and eats through the roof, only to be foiled by the rising sun.
Contested seats in the Dutchess County Legislature are close to home this election season, with Districts 19 and 25 covering the rural towns across the northern and eastern corners of the county. Though the candidates bring distinct experiences and perspectives, they share common ground on some of the biggest challenges facing local communities, including emergency medical services and affordable housing.
Here’s a look at the candidates.
Chris DragoPhoto Provided
Incumbent Chris Drago is running for re-election at the end of his first term as county legislator. A lifelong Dutchess County resident, Drago said he ran in 2023 after realizing the northern part of the county wasn’t getting the attention it deserved. He unseated longtime incumbent Gregg Pulver and credits his first term with listening to constituents and moving the needle on local priorities.
“I’m interested in being re-elected so that I can keep up the work, continue to be an advocate for the community and to make connections in other areas that the county can’t necessarily help — like at the State or the Federal levels,” Drago said.
Drago recently helped municipalities like North East and Pine Plains access state funds after pushing to secure a $6 million grant for the Plus One ADU program. When the county declined to apply, he worked with Hudson River Housing, which “thankfully applied on behalf of several municipalities across the county.” That funding is now helping middle- and low-income families in the district.
Other key issues for Drago include improving county-wide emergency medical services, housing affordability, mental health access and protecting taxpayer dollars. He has advocated for EMS improvements, calling the county’s $2 million investment in supplemental services a “drop in the bucket” and a “Band-aid solution,” and he plans to push for a long-term fix. On mental health, Drago has helped coordinate advocacy that contributed to funding for an expanded Rhinebeck facility. “It’s a step in the right direction thanks to folks in the community being vocal and us working together to shine a light on this issue.”
Drago said he was elected in 2023 because voters wanted new leadership in northern Dutchess.
“I bring independence, transparency and a deep commitment to public service without strings attached,” he said. “I answer only to the people of District 19. I bring a proven track record of collaboration and a willingness to ask tough questions when taxpayer dollars or community needs are at stake.”
Emphasizing community over politics, Drago said, “I am not about one party over another. I’m about community, not politics. I can talk to anyone who’s willing to meet me halfway and who wants to be part of the solution. I really enjoy getting out and helping people.”
Tonya PulverPhoto Provided
School psychologist Tonya Pulver, who works in the Millbrook Central School District, is seeking to unseat Democratic incumbent Chris Drago.
“No one was running against my opponent, and I’m a firm believer that a lot of people died for our right to vote, and we should also have a right to a choice,” she said. “If I’m going to be the one complaining, I should be the one doing something. So, here I am.”
Pulver said her background as a school psychologist gives her a perspective she plans to bring to the legislature. “I listen to people for a living, I take their perspectives and problem-solve. That’s my life, that’s what I do, and that’s what I will bring to the legislature,” she said.
She emphasized that her approach is nonpartisan. “I’m not political, it’s not about blue and it’s not about red, it’s about what’s best for our communities,” Pulver said.
Pulver’s top priorities include children’s mental health, housing affordability and emergency medical services. She noted that Dutchess County currently lacks pediatric psychiatric beds, forcing children to travel to Westchester for care. She also wants to increase funding for programs that educate vulnerable populations about the nuances of home-buying, and inspire developers to expand affordable housing in rural Dutchess County. “Rental costs are way overpriced. Supply and demand is out of control. We need more housing so that people who grew up here can continue to live here,” she said.
On EMS, Pulver said response times in District 19 are a challenge, though to be expected in rural areas. “District 19 needs to figure out as a whole what they need to do. There needs to be a multi-faceted approach that combines paid services and volunteers,” she said.
Pulver describes herself as a “fixer” and a doer. She cites her experience balancing full-time work and undergraduate and graduate school, along with volunteer work with Tails of the Tundra Siberian Husky Rescue and the Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse, as evidence of her ability to tackle complex challenges.
“I want to go in there and see some positive changes for our area,” Pulver said. “I plan on making calls, finding out what people’s concerns are, and taking their needs to the legislature. We can make improvements when we work together.”
Deirdre HoustonPhoto provided
After nearly a decade in public service, Republican incumbent Dierdre Houston is seeking re-election.
Houston is finishing her fourth two-year term and currently serves as Majority Leader of the Legislature.She spent seven years on the Millbrook Board of Education prior to joining county government, which she described as “an important entry point into public service.”
“Being on the school board gave me a foundation in budgeting, contracts and negotiations,” she said. “But the county is on another level — bigger budgets, more people and a larger chain of command. It took a couple of years to really learn how to ask the right questions and get things done.”
Throughout her tenure, Houston has held several leadership positions, including Chair of the Government Services and Administration Committee and Assistant Majority Leader. She said she takes pride in being a visible, engaged legislator who regularly attends town board meetings across her district.
“If I’m not in conflict with another obligation, I’m there,” she said. “It’s important to know what’s happening locally so I can advocate effectively at the county level.”
A small business owner, Houston has run her Millbrook flower shop since 2013. She said strong organization and work ethic help her balance both roles. “I’m fortunate to have staff who support me, but I also put in long days. I believe in showing up and doing the work,” she said.
Houston identified emergency medical services, workforce housing and support for seniors and veterans as the top issues facing her district. “We’ve made progress on EMS response times, but funding remains a challenge,” she said, adding that “throwing money at a problem is not solving a problem, it’s about doing things in a responsible comprehensive way that is equitable to everyone, whether you live in remote areas or the populous areas.”
Houston added that “affordable and workforce housing also continue to be pressing needs, especially in small towns like Amenia and Millbrook.”
She said serving in government has given her the opportunity to make tangible differences, adding that “experience” is one of the main reasons to vote for her.
“When someone brings me a problem and I can help solve it — that’s what drives me,” she said. “I’ve built strong relationships, I know how to navigate the system, and I care deeply about this community.”
Eric AlexanderPhoto Provided
Eric Alexander, an experienced leader in marketing, finance and public service, is challenging incumbent Dierdre Houston.
Alexander said he was encouraged to run because he believes the Legislature needs “fresh energy, more transparency and a greater sense of accountability to residents.” He emphasized that his focus is on results, not rhetoric. “It’s frustrating for me when I can’t get something done,” he said. “You can either say you can’t, or you can make it happen.”
A seasoned leader in both the private and nonprofit sectors, Alexander serves as chair of the board of trustees at Emerson College. “When I was asked to chair the board, I was told that changing things in college is like moving a cemetery — you just can’t do it,” he said. “But in three years, we’ve hired a new president, written new bylaws, created a new strategic plan and even launched a new school. Everything that colleges need to do to remain viable — we’ve done it.”
As chair, Alexander said he shares responsibility for a $350 million operating company and a $300 million endowment. “I know every line of that budget — how to find the fat, how to find the waste — and how to act on priorities,” he said.
Alexander’s top priorities include addressing the county’s EMS crisis, improving public transportation and expanding housing affordability. “There’s nothing ideological about EMS. Everyone needs medical care,” he said, adding that “our rural communities need a different understanding of what our needs are and what’s reasonable for us.”
He criticized the county’s 2024 EMS investment as “a Band-Aid,” and said his first step would be to bring legislative representatives to Amenia, Millbrook and Pleasant Valley to meet with local officials directly.
Alexander expressed concern that without adequate transportation, District 25 residents have serious challenges getting to critical appointments and obligations. He asked, “Amenia is part of Dutchess County — why are we cut off from the rest of it?”
Housing, said Alexander, must also be treated as a regional priority. “The lack of housing is pushing young people out,” he said. “When young people look to Ulster County to find a home, that’s failure.”
Summing up his candidacy, Alexander said, “I bring professional experience on Wall Street and Madison Avenue, combined with years of community service. I’m doing this to win — and to move the legislature toward doing things differently.”
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PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: Equal Housing Opportunity. All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1966 revised March 12, 1989 which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discrimination based on race, color religion, sex, handicap or familial status or national origin or intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. All residential property advertised in the State of Connecticut General Statutes 46a-64c which prohibit the making, printing or publishing or causing to be made, printed or published any notice, statement or advertisement with respect to the sale or rental of a dwelling that indicates any preference, limitation or discrimination based on race, creed, color, national origin, ancestry, sex, marital status, age, lawful source of income, familial status, physical or mental disability or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.
Abstract artist Vincent Inconiglio’s love and enthusiasm for color and form are evident all around him at his Falls Village studio, where he has worked for 25 years. He is surrounded by paintings large and small, woodcuts, photographs, collages and arrays of found objects.
The objects Inconiglio has found while out walking — in Falls Village, near his studio on Gansevoort Street in New York City, and in other places throughout the world — hold special importance to him. Appreciation of them, he says, comes from “seeing while exploring. I am always finding things.” His particular delight is finding objects that look like faces, many of which will be featured in the ArtWall show at the Hunt Library.
The found objects inspire him, are his “friends,” and serve as muses for his work. He has had some in his collection for more than 50 years. “I’ve always thought of them as parts of me.”
As he shows these objects and tells how he found them, his enthusiasm is contagious. It suggests a new way of looking at the world, even at the most mundane bits of debris.
The sheer volume of paintings and collages displayed in his Falls Village studio attests to his interest in form, color, and composition.
Inconiglio will bring his sense of play and love of discovery to his show, “Face Time,” opening at the Hunt Library in Falls Village on Oct. 25, with a reception from 5 to 7 p.m. It features faces in collages, photos, and found objects. The works will be on display until Nov. 21.
Inconiglio explained a little about his process. “If I am stuck,” he said, “I’ll cut something and put it down. One thing leads to another and forces me to focus.” Next month, in a workshop with children, he will share techniques like this that have guided him in his work.
The children, students at Lee H. Kellogg School in Falls Village, will create their own face collages. Inconiglio enjoys the spontaneity children bring to their creations and is eager to work with them.
On Nov. 13, Inconiglio will give an artist’s talk at 5:30 p.m. at Hunt Library.
He looks forward to feedback about “Face Time,” commenting, “I’d rather get bad feedback than no feedback.”
For more information, visit: huntlibrary.org/art-wall/.
The entrance to Kim and Chris Choe’s newest grocery store venture, Market 360, in New Haven, Conn. The store opened several weeks ago and Kim Choe said the new business has required her and her husband’s attention while it finds its footing and builds up a staff.
MILLERTON — Millerton residents eager for a new food market will have to wait a little longer.
During a recent visit to her newly opened New Haven grocery store, Market 360, co-owner Kim Choe offered The News an update — or rather, a lack of one — on the highly-anticipated Millerton market she owns with her husband, Chris.
“We have a lot of work to do inside the building,” Choe said, explaining that the couple is still assessing the scope of renovations. “We can’t provide an updated timeline yet.” Among the needed improvements, she noted, is a new roof.
The exterior of the shopping plaza is also in disrepair, with overgrown weeds and stacks of glass refrigerators sitting in the parking lot. The appearance has raised questions about the Choes’ recently estimated timeframe of an October opening.
Choe said that she and her husband have had their hands full with their newly-opened New Haven store. Market 360, located in a busy commercial space on Chapel Street just past the Yale campus, held its grand opening on June 4 and was attended by New Haven Mayor Justin Elicker.
That store, Choe said, is still finding its footing and building its team. Despite being in its early stages, Market 360 is fully operational, with shelves well-stocked with international and American food and the aroma of curry and spices drifting through the aisles from the cafe.
No strangers to the grocery business, the couple has owned and operated the nearby Sharon Farm Market for 15 years. They purchased four adjoining parcels in the former Millerton Square Plazaat 122 Route 44 — totaling 10.2 acres — and earlier this spring the Town of North East Planning Board approved their site plan for the “Town Gourmet Market.”
When asked if the Millerton project was still a sure thing, Choe was effusive. “Of course,” she said. “It’s our building. It’s our home.”